Focus On Me | Yeongyu ✓

14 | anger to sadness

beomgyu's pov ~
yeonjun and i went to my house after hanging out with the others. it was pretty dark outside.

he sighed as he immediately dropped himself on the couch.

"ugh. socializing with those idiots is so damn hard. everything soobin says makes me mad."

"yeonjun, what has been up with you?!" i instantly positioned myself to face him.

"i have no fucking idea beomgyu. i don't know why i have this bitchy behavior and attitude all the fucking time."

"i'm not asking that! i'm asking why you've been so unwilling to try to be friends with them!" he stood up from the couch.

"well what the fuck do you want me to say?! it's not my fault that i fucking hate myself because i can never do anything right and i always seem to be the one to ruin everything! you think i don't want to get along with them?! i wish i could, but i'm too fucking jealous for that shit! everything soobin does is fucking perfect! so why can't i be like that too?! i wanna kill myself every single day of my life and the only reason why i haven't yet, is because i met you! you're the reason i'm still fucking alive right now!"

we both stayed silent. and it got too quiet. his face was so red from how angry and upset he was. and his eyes were watery.

"...you've been wanting to kill yourself?...and you never told me?! how bad are your thoughts yeonjun?!"

he didn't respond. he just kept staring at the floor, ignoring me. he couldn't even make eye contact.

but suddenly, his tears that he tried so hard to hold in fell out of his eyes.

i was so shocked that it took me a second to realize that he was crying but after i realized, i immediately ran up to him and hugged him as tightly as i ever could. his crying started to become sobbing and i felt his hands squeeze my waist.

after minutes of holding each other, i cupped his face with my hands and wiped his tears away.

"yeonjun...please stay with me..."

we locked eyes with each other for a moment. i noticed that he stopped crying but his eyes were still watery. i swear, it was like his eyes were actually shining. he looked so charming and lovely. the blush on his face made me blush even more.

"...c-can i kiss you?" i slightly nodded, gazing at his gorgeous soft and plump lips.

he closed his eyes as we started to get really close to each other. our noses were rubbing together and my heart started to beat faster.

and our lips finally met.

for the first time.

even though my first kiss was with taehyun, this one truly felt like a first kiss. it felt like the kiss i had with taehyun didn't even happen.

that's how i know that i fucking love this man.

and i can't loose him.

"...beomgyu, i really want to be a better person, but i don't know how. can you please help me?" he softly asked.

"you already are a good person...you just need to show people what you show me. show them how funny, loving, caring, sweet, and kind you are. because when i'm with you, that's the yeonjun i see." he pouted cutely which made me giggle a bit.

"thank you so much...i love you."

"i love you too...listen, whenever you need anything, please let me know...we'll get through this together and...take as much time as you need..."

we hugged tightly for another time.

soobin's pov ~
"soobin darling! come here!" my mother called.

"coming!" i called back.

as soon as i headed downstairs i immediately saw my parents standing next to a girl. i rolled my eyes. this happens every single time.

"there you are! this is aeri!" the girl waved as she slightly smiled.

"really?! why do you two keep doing this?! where did you even find her this time?!"

"oh! well, you know the man your father works with? this is his daughter! isn't she so gorgeous?" my mother smiled as she cupped the girl's face.

"stop touching her!" i quickly hit her hand away from her face. "she's clearly uncomfortable!"

"no she isn't! right aeri?" my father asked. the girl didn't answer. she just stood there and looked at the floor shyly.

"ugh! you paid her father didn't you?! how much?!" neither of them responded. "i said how much?!"

"that isn't your business!" my mother replied.

"it sure as hell is! because you guys don't know what you're doing! look at yourselves! you literally bought this poor girl! she clearly doesn't even want to do this!"

"don't raise your voice at your mother!" my father yelled.

"or what?!"

"or i'll...i'll go to fucking jail for murdering you, you darn prick!"

it got silent really fast. i can't believe this fucking family. all they know how to do is buy girls for me to "date" and i don't even want to! i'm sick and tired of it!

"you want me to be with her?! fine! i'll take her, and we're never fucking coming back here even again! so you can reflect on what you assholes did! you lost your own son that you supposedly loved so much! by the way, i'm fucking gay! you raised a fucking homosexual! fuck off, dipshits!"

i grabbed the girl's arm and ran out of the house.

"come back here this instant you fucking psychopath!" i heard my father yell behind me.

but i was already out of the house by the time he could do anything.