Musical theatre characters x reader

Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen)

This was another request, female reader!

If anyone has any requests please feel free to let me know :)
I have no idea how this is gonna end up but I'm in the mood for making everyone suffer. I hope you enjoy!✌️

TW: Mention of suicide, death and just majorly depressing
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It was the first day in school without him. He was your boyfriend, your best friend, how were you supposed to manage? You were only surviving on 3 hours of sleep and it wasn't because you were up all night texting him, it was because you couldn't sleep due to the memories haunting you. 

Walking into school was a nightmare for you, people you didn't even know were staring into your skull, most with sympathetic eyes; others with looks of guilt. Turning your music up louder, you walked swiftly to class, not being able to cope with everyone's stares.

It was no better in class either, people walking past and patting you on the shoulder in attempts to comfort you, it wasn't in the slightest way comforting. The whole day was the same, no one spoke to you, but their "kind" eyes and saddening smiles said it all. After what felt like a lifetime, the final bell rang and each student rushed out of the building, you however weren't in a rush to leave. Strolling through the empty halls made you feel safe, no one was there to pity you or stare at you, while whispering to their peers and that's how you liked it. Suddenly a wave of sadness rushed over you as you stood parallel to his locker, you couldn't stop the tears as the memories flooded in.

~Flashback~

You sprinted through the halls to reach him as he was shoving books into his locker.
"CONNOR!" You shouted so that the whole school could hear you. He quickly turned to look at you with wide eyes and a tint of pink on his cheeks. You really knew how to embarrass him and you always took it to your advantage, why wouldn't you? That's what lovers do to each other. He always got you back in other ways, like humiliating you in front of the class.

As you finally got to him he punched your arm slightly and you just laughed.
"I see that amused you," he expressed plainly as you laughed in response.

It ended with both of you being late for class due to the amount of laughter you had both exchanged which resulted in a bathroom break.

~End of flashback~

Tears streaming with a slight smile on your face, from the memory, you carried on your journey home. Even your home brought back memories of all the times he had waltzed in uninvitingly and caught you sobbing over some tv show. He always knew how to comfort you and often he would jump next to you and you both cried uncontrollably together while eating multiple tubs of ice cream. You missed the little things you would do together the most, they were always special to you and now you truly understood why.

Work was something your parents prioritised, of course they loved you but they needed to provide and work did just that. Although they worked so much, they could still see how much you truly loved him, even when you were talking about him, your eyes would glow. But after the incident, they were always red and the glow had faded. Parents being parents, had noticed from the second they broke the news to you. That painful memory was continuously spinning around your head, the day your whole world came crashing down.

The fact that he didn't even leave a note or message killed you. The only note was for Evan Hansen, a name you had memorised. He was always around you and never once mentioned an Evan Hansen, so why was he claiming to be his friend?

That wasn't the point, the point was that the only person you truly loved was dead and you felt numb. The only emotion you felt was sadness and who could blame you? Reaching your bed you collapsed and felt the tears run down your cheeks as you took in his signature scent on your pillow. You hadn't realised how much he was in your life until he wasn't and it had its affect on you.

~Flashback~

"What's up lover boy?" You asked as he placed himself beside you on your bed.
"Just thinking," he replied.
"About what?" He stared at the wall blankly, "Connor, about what?!"
"You ask too many questions." He looked at you and smiled, "wanna play Mario Kart?"
"Oh? So you can ask questions but I can't? I see how it is," you smirked, "whoever wins 3 races gets to ask as many questions as they'd like." Knowing full well you would win, you always did. He got up and passed you a controller.
"Game on love."

~End of flashback~

You chuckled at the memory, knowing that it ended with him actually winning for once and annoying you with random questions. It was weekends of playing Mario Kart that made you the happiest girl in the world and he did all of that just by being himself. You loved him so much and you still do but now you couldn't have those fun weekends anymore and you sobbed quietly onto your pillow.

He was your world.