The Brightest Stars

[2]

They say that there will always be a reason why things happened, is happening and will be happening. That the reason causes a change, whether it's painful or hard, but it all occurs because it was in stored to you by fate.

It's just the hardest thing - to wait for it to come along and understand that reason.

Because all my life, I've been waiting for that reason; a reason why fate must take away my Mother and twin from me. A reason why I must exist when they can't. And I don't think I will ever understand.

"Hey Mom!"

I placed the bouquet of sunflowers I was holding with my left hand beside Mommy's tombstone. I noticed minimal dirt around so I was assuming that the caretakers' been doing their job well. I stared at Mommy's name written in gold and cursive.

Artemis Dela Questa

1975-2006

"I know you missed me. And I miss you, too. But please, as much as I want to see you again, I don't like the idea of ghosts," I laughed a little. "Besides, I see you often. In my dreams and illusions, right?"

I inhaled deeply when I felt a big lump on my throat. I felt like crying yet no tears wanted to give in. Tears are really traitors - nung hindi ko ginustong lumabas, lumabas sila. Ngayon namang naiiyak ako, wala.

"I know you're disappointed in me for leaving the house so I'm sorry," I pouted while kicking the tiny stones on the ground. "But hey, I'm pretty sure Sunset's proud of me right now, aren't you?"

Bumaling ako sa katabing lapida ni Mommy at inilapag naman ang bouquet ng pink tulips. Her name was also written in gold and cursive. I knelt down on the grassy ground to touch her tombstone.

Sunset Rose Dela Questa

1998-2006

"Or maybe not." I chuckled, trying to imagine her throwing a fit because of what I did.

Sumeryoso lang ako ng maalala'ng may isa pa nga pala akong kasalanan. "I'm also sorry for ruining our birthday yesterday, Sunset. I just... can't stand that woman. I can't even stand Daddy. I'm sorry."

Umihip ng malakas ang hangin. I smiled at the thought that maybe it was Sunset who sent that wind to let me know that she understood my reasons. Lagi naman eh.

"We're having a new sibling, by the way. And that woman wants to replace Mommy. Akala niya ata mapapantayan niya si Mommy! I mean, how dare she?! I know, that if you were here, you'd talk me into understanding the woman which I really wish you wouldn't or else I'd be slightly mad at you. I just can't believe how thick-faced she is. Oh well, at least I defended Mommy." I ranted on as if she's really there, listening intently.

Natahimik lamang ako ng mapagtantong wala naman talaga'ng nakikipag-usap sa akin kundi ako lang. Mommy and Sunset may be listening up there but they weren't really here anymore. I felt pathetic. And lonely. May mangilan-ngilan pang tao na napatingin sa gawi ko kaya ibinaba ko ang hood ng jacket ko.