Secrets & Treasons

Fifth Movement: In the Shadows of the Mists | Return

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His entrance was less noticed than he had first assumed, the women of Elwìnn were used to seeing and welcoming travelers from all walks of life. The sound of his horse's footsteps echoed along the alleys of the small city with such force that one would have thought he was prancing. But when he saw a woman in one of the squares, he had the courtesy to get off his horse. He vacillated between excitement and concern as he checked on the one person who was on his mind. Other women were joining them, hoping to finally get some fresh news from the other Walks, he seemed to fascinate them greatly. He wanted to close his mind, fearing that his thoughts would betray him, but he didn't have the opportunity: his disappointment when he learned that she had already left for the Walk of the Sun could be read on his face. But when he learned that she had taken Elwìnn's children there, a wave of panic swept over him. So, in spite of everything, she was really going to participate in this gigantic masquerade. The Quest. And now he was really arousing the interest and curiosity of these women. They wanted to know everything about him, how he knew her, if he had attended the Great Council, if he had seen the elven elders after the disaster and how it all went down.

As politely as possible, he deflected the questions that beset him and climbed back into the saddle.

He didn't stop until he was far into the cool, soothing forest. What to do now? Follow her, pursue her where she needed to be, to that heat-crushing Walk? Participate in this ordeal imagined by the Gods to relieve their boredom? He had to make a decision. To follow her or to go back home in time to welcome his family, all those beings so dear to him but that absence and time had made so distant, so evanescent, so foreign to him? Was he even sure where she was and where everything was going to happen?

And most naturally, as he pondered what he was going to do, what he should do, he found himself at the foot of the monumental hard stone walls. He was back. But everything seemed so cold, so empty, so far away.

He looked up at the battlements, at the mechanism of the great portcullis. Everything was so immensely empty. His footsteps echoed on the cobblestones, he hesitated. Discovering the city, his city, the city of his childhood, so abandoned, so absent from itself, so dead, hurt him. Slowly, he paced the alleys, streets and avenues, his heart beating so hard in his chest that it covered the deafening silence in which the capital of the Demis was bathed. In the distance, in front of him, stood the Palace of his youth. Despite all his reluctance, he could not help but head towards it. To go back home.

Except for the omnipresent darkness, and the thin layer of dust that had begun to accumulate since the return to the reality of the city, nothing had changed. In the succession of kitchens, the pots and skewers were still in place in the huge fireplaces, ready to be used. The doors were still as heavy and difficult to open without making them creak; the corridors were still as endless.

Lowann, without thinking about it, found the back door that led directly to his private apartments. He pushed open the inner door with a twinge of regret: before him lay the past, mixed with joy, carelessness, and bitter resentment. The petticoats of the beautiful Esther and the silk stockings of the one who was to be her chaperone were still dragging on the precious wooden floor, the sweet perfume of his mother was still floating in the air; so many memories were still living between these walls. In the adjacent room, on the floor, scattered on either side of the desk, sheets of paper covered with his handwriting, stupid pseudo poems hastily composed with the sole aim of impressing the young and innocent damsels freshly arrived at the King's court. An irrepressible laugh went up in him. How far he was from himself now! And the rage also rose in his chest and went crashing against the wall. His fist throbbed for a brief moment but had the beneficial effect of suspending the ascent in time that he had been unable to prevent.