WP EXCLUSIVE | old/unedited | #1 in freetheboy, traumacore, boyscrytoo, and cynicism | Genre(s): realistic, psychological, new adult fiction.
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Eighteen-year-old Tyler Petrit is tired. He's tired of his drug-addicted father always blaming him f...
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Oscar Wilde once said, "Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power," and he's right. In relationships, asking who wears the pants is really just asking who the more sexually attractive other half is.
There's a reason why rapists gravitate towards the dominant role and why victims are then forced into the submissive one. There's a reason why even consenting sex has the two participants constantly switching roles.
The mirror isn't exactly helping my anxiety. It's not even the fact that I'm pudgy. If I finally got rid of all the fat, of all of my baggage, I would still be ugly. There's always going to be something wrong with me.
"Men are disgusting human beings," she said. "All they care about is sex. You can't be like the rest of them when you grow up. I know how to help you be a good boy."
And she made it so that I would not only not care about sex, but completely and utterly fear it.
"That feels good, doesn't it? Of course, it does, pretty boy. Of course, you like it. You're so pretty. Pretty boys take advantage of girls. They do things like this-"
Her breath was warm against my ear, words coming out breathlessly and ragged, as if this was normal. I stayed in place, eyes wide. I let her touch me because I didn't know what else to do. It's my fault. I let it happen, so it wasn't rape...except adults aren't supposed to touch children like that.
Women aren't supposed to touch little boys like that.Women aren't supposed to make little boys touch them back.
Women are supposed to be kind and nurturing and never hurt children.Only men do that, apparently.
"You won't do things like that when you grow up, right? You'll be good?"
Back and forth, over and over.
It was not my fault, I was a child. It was my fault, I fought her and she still won. That means I didn't try hard enough. I did it to myself. I, a man, am a disgusting human being, but only because Candace made me that way.
I learned the hard way that many people think a woman can only do something evil if she's being controlled by a man, never on her own.
She blamed the System, as if a bunch of patriarchal men forced her to rape me, when she acted alone. Any sound-minded person knows that pedophilia is wrong, though she liked to act as if what she was doing was just teaching me a lesson in order to manipulate me, and denied it as if she didn't fucking ruin my life.
