A date on the Eiffel Tower

Chapter twenty three:

Ethan stood in the doorway holding one of Thomas's rucksacks in his hand with his eyes dropping sadly to the floor with a light puff around them like he had been crying. Panic set in straight away. What was going on? Is Mia ok? He is her boyfriend. Is Thomas okay? He's in Thomas's house.

"What's going on? Ethan?!" I almost shouted the last part. He was starting to scare me now. His droopy posture indicated everything was wrong and his eyes never lied, telling me something was up.

"I'm sorry Amber." He looked at me with sorrowful eyes. I have never felt more scared, worried, anxious.

"Ethan you're scaring me. Tell me what's going on." My voice was trembling as I spoke.

"I'm sorry." He repeated. "It's Thomas. He was on his way back from the airport when a car came out of nowhere and hit him. He's in the hospital in a coma. I'm so sorry Amber."

That was it. That smashing sound. That was my heart breaking completely. I broke down into tears struggling to breath within seconds. No, I can't lose him. I just found out how he feels. How I feel. I felt myself spluttering for breaths of oxygen as I could see nothing but splotchy colours. I felt Ethan wrap his arms around me and pull me inside. I held onto his chest tightly, crying into his chest, soaking his shirt already.

"This is all my fault. If I just talked to him, called him back, if I did anything it would have saved him." I cried through the tears.

"It's not your fault Amber. He will be okay. He is strong. He just needs you there okay?" He held onto me tightly with one arm as he stroked the back of my head with another. His words were reassuring but his act was let down when I felt tears falling into my head.

"I can't believe I wasn't there. The last thing I said was that I didn't want to speak to him. He thought I hated him. He loved me and he thought I hated him, but I didn't, I loved him too." I weeped.

"You loved him or love him?" Ethan questions pulling away and looking me straight in the eye. He placed both hands on my shoulders waiting for an answer.

"I loved and love him but now he's gone and I didn't tell him." I cried again as he pulled me back into a hug.

"He isn't gone yet. He just needs you to be there when he wakes up, which he will do, you hear me?" He pulled away again as I nodded. "Alright let's go I was just picking him up some clothes."

Ethan grabbed my hand and I felt his warmth against my cold skin before I shook it off running to Thomas's room. I could hear Ethan shouting behind me but I ran through looking in all of Thomas's draws until I found what I was looking for, I held up a large black jumper with small blue tie dye patterns on the left sleeve and Hollister wrote down its arm and across the chest. I ran back through the house to Ethan standing in the doorway.

"What's that?" Ethan questioned looking down at the folded jumper I was hugging close to my chest as we walked down the hallway.

"It's my favourite jumper of his. He always used to let me borrow it when I came round even if it wasn't cold. If it was he would put it over a radiator and hug me till it warmed up then I would wear it but he still didn't stop hugging me." The thought of those memories made tears rush down my cheeks which I quickly wiped away as we entered the lobby.

The car journey was short but the closer we got to the hospital the more anxious I got. What if he doesn't make it and he doesn't know how I feel and he dies thinking I hate him? I searched through my bag grabbing the letter he wrote me. I put it in there to remind me of him. I read over it making me feel probably worse but I could imagine his voice reading it which comforted me.

"Is that the letter he wrote you?" Ethan asks, slightly startling me as I had completely zoned out. I nodded looking up at him. "You know he spent hours writing that and checking it. He even made me go through it twelve times to check it sounded alright. Yes I counted. I have never seen him work so hard and something and get so stressed about it."

Part of me felt guilt for him spending so much of his time on me rather than his business but the happy part overtook me. He wrote this for me. And he stressed about it. I made him nervous? I half questioned myself, feeling butterflies in my stomach. We arrived at the hospital and it was now around half four in the morning so it was still dark. I hated hospitals at night, they gave me a horrible sinking feeling like something bad is going to happen.

I practically run through the building and to the desk. Behind it stood a young woman in her late twenties with dark skin and a clear face. Her hair was pulled neatly out of the way in box braids. He gave me a welcoming smile as I walked over to her, tapping my hand on the side of my leg from the nerves.

"Hello, how can I help you?" She asked softly, her voice much more gentle than I anticipated.

"Hello, I'm looking for a patient. His name is Thomas Um... no he is called Zach... um I'm not sure." I don't know what name he would go by. I look to Ethan for help who steps forward next to me.

"His name is Thomas Pacifique." He spoke to the lady as she typed things into a computer as he looked at me. "He uses that name as that's his real name."

I opened my mouth to say something when the lady interrupted me telling us he was on the third floor and a couple other directions but I didn't listen, I just followed Ethan down the hallway. I almost had to run to keep up with Ethan, his legs were so long and I couldn't keep up. We took the lift up, it pinging open for us to run out down the corridor.

Ethan stopped outside a door making me run into his rock hard back. I was a little flustered as he turned around and looked down at me.

"He's in there." He pointed at the wooden door behind him with the door number two hundred and fifty on it. "You should go in alone at first but if you want me to come too I will."

"Thank you Ethan I will try on my own thank you." I said gratefully standing to face the door. I placed my shaking hand on the door handle but quickly turned back to Ethan embracing him in a hug. "Thank you." He returned the hug before I pulled away looking up at him.

"Don't worry about it. Now go in." I turned around facing the door again. I was so scared to see him. So scared to see his condition. So scared that I wouldn't see him.

I pushed the door inwards, creaking as it did so. I felt myself taking a deep breath and holding it in. I closed my eyes holding his jumper in my free hand as I walked in blindly.

I finally let out my breath knowing I was in the room by the sound of the door shutting. I clutched the jumper close to my heart as I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't know if I could open them yet.

Then I finally saw him.