Spencer Reid Oneshots

seaver

chapter songs: 

lay me down by sam smith 
jealousy, jealousy by olivia rodrigo 
kiss goodnight by i don't know how but they found me

Eleven months. Eleven months I've been head over heels for my boyfriend, Spencer. 

He's truly a gem, a sparkling amber crystal amongst dull stones. When I met him at a Criminal Psychology panel last year, his eyes seemed to tell me: I'm your future, Y/N. Your future.

I joined the BAU a few months after dating him and the world seemed to perfectly align. The stars appeared brighter, colors shone more vivid, the breeze smelled sweeter, and Spencer was always there to share it with me. Profiling along side him was a dream come true, not to mention the incredible friendships and relationships that I made...the definition of incredible. 

But the thing is, something happened last month. We got a new member inducted into the BAU, just as a cadet/apprentice, though. Her name's Ashley. Ashley Seaver. Her mind is new, but sharp. She did a great job helping us in New Mexico, not to mention her imperfect and dangerous, but clever method of catching the Las Cruces serial killer. I thought she would be an amazing asset to the team.

I thought.

A few weeks after Seaver had joined our team, I began to think Spencer and I's relationship was getting more and more serious. We had been dating for nearly a year, and every day just seemed more perfect, more golden. That familiar buzz of electricity in my chest whenever I caught his gaze only multiplied. 

So I invited him over for dinner one night: his favorite Chinese take-out. I'm not much a chef, and he's not much of a complainer. It works out pretty well.

My apartment glowed with a few lit candles, but the real illumination was the sparkle in Spencer's eyes and his bright smile. His warm hand covered mine snugly, as if we were always meant to be this way. My body felt nervous and elated at the same time, but his involuntarily trailing thumb on my hand soothed my anxiety. I needed to tell him something, and there was no better time then right there. 

I don't remember exactly what I said; my mind was reeling, and foggy. All I remember is murmuring out how much he's changed my life, gave me a purpose, and how...how I love him.

His hand stiffened on mine. His warm brown eyes suddenly became dark, his face dropped to a stolid stare. My heart dropped, but he cracked a kind smile at me anyways. 

"M-Maybe we should talk about this some other time." Spencer looked down at the flickering candle, and the heavy pull on my heart prompted hot tears to prick in my eyes. I blinked them away, and stood up alongside him.

"Oh...sure." 

I wanted to hide, to cry, to run, and leave at the same time. My cold hands found their way across my chest, as if I was prey out in the open forest. I was ashamed. Embarrassed. 

Spencer gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, grabbed his bag and jacket, and was gone without a whisper. The food went cold on my table that night, for I rushed to my bedroom with a fervent panic creeping through my body. I didn't get any sleep that night. I thought the dream between us would continue, but no. 

When morning came quickly as the sun rose through my curtains, I almost dreaded going into work. 

Did Spencer think over what I said? Maybe he'll respond, or maybe he'll ignore me. Will it be awkward? What if...

My mind was reeling with panicked thoughts, but I shrugged them off as best I could. Before I knew it, I was walking through the light snow to the office. I said a silent prayer, or maybe an alarming mantra: Please don't hate me, Spencer. Please don't break up with me. Please don't-