Letters

Aman Berhane & Ashley Lee | 1

Ash,

I swear I've tried to write this shit a million times, but I just can't seem to get the words right. There's like 12 crumpled (is that a word?) up papers in the corner of my room right now, so I decided that this time.,I'd just keep writing. No erasing, no starting over, just..writing it all out.

Since I've known you, it's felt like you've kept my head on straight. When I lost my brother, you were the one who came and held my hand until I was even okay to get out of bed. Sometimes it even feels like I'm a burden on you, the way you'd drop everything and come to my r̶e̶s̶c̶e̶u̶ rescue, but what keeps me sane is knowing that I'd do the same for you on any occasion. I guess I'm saying that being friends with you has changed my life in ways you don't, or will never understand. I love being your friend Ash.

Which is why it was so confusing for me when I found myself getting annoyed at the mention of a guy you went out with, or when I began to lose interest from other women in my life, or how when I imagine my life, my future, and my family I can only see it with you.

I know how we'd laugh it off anytime our friends or our family would say we'd end up together, but somehow...I wish that were the case. I know I'm saying a lot of things but I want you to know that I like you. I love you, even. I know we've said that before (usually we're drunk) but I mean it in a different way this time. I want to hold your hand, wake up next to you, kiss you...everywhere. I want to give you any and everything you need. I want the little things, like date nights where we can't decide what to eat, awkwardly shaking your dad's hand, hogging all of your blankets.

I hope I don't sound ridiculous to you. Like I said...I'm just gonna write until I feel like I've said it all. I love you Ashley. I wish I could've told you this to your face..I was just afraid of what you'd say.

So, not to be immature but.....

do you like me?
☐yes

☐ no