Frozen

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I was standing in the uncomfortable silence with my mother for a few seconds. I was contemplating to bring up the whole pot thing, but Rudy was skipping around the kitchen.

I saw an opportunity. There was a whisk I needed above her head. I reached for it, my fingertips curling around the edge of the counter. I take the time to ask her, my eyes staring into her temples. “Are you upset about the pot?”

She sighs as if something inside her is breaking, and her head microscopically nods that if I weren’t staring at her for so long, I wouldn’t have noticed.

“It was our ancestors mixing bowl.” She replied, as she continued to cut the vegetables and placed them into the pot with the simmering hot water on the stove.

I take the time to ask this now. Maybe I can get some information out of her. “What is the key to?”

My mother turns to me, her lips frowning as if someone was pushing them downward. “You need to help me set the table,” she said, and she turned swiftly around to retrieve the glassware we needed for lunch.

I used to wonder why my mother never disciplined me when she caught me reading. Now I wonder if this has something to do with a book.

“Elena, please take your seat at the table with us.” My father instructs, his black stubble on his chin becoming more and more visible each day. He’ll have to shave soon. Growing a beard is against customs and a symbol of indifference.

I nod my head and join my parents at the table. We usually have a custom of thanking for our family. When I asked my mother who we were thanking, she said God.

That’s when I learned the book I had stolen from the trunk was the Bible.

My mother told me the stories of the people who used to sing and praise someone of a holy manner. She told me how they banned reading the Bible because people were afraid of what some big man in the sky could do.

“I’m not afraid.” My mother told me when my father was leaving the room. “I’m not afraid of what he’ll do to them. They’re all sinners, Elena. I know where I’m going.”

“I want to go with you.” I said, and she broke into a big smile. She placed her hands on the sides of my head and smiled.

“That’s my girl,” she whispered, and she held me tightly. It seemed my mother knew where she was going from the start.

I wish I could say the same. I need to learn more.

It’s a good thing I’m a ruler breaker.

My mother used to always say there was peace during the afternoon, but my humble house is so hectic and chaotic. Luckily, it gives me an excuse to wander around the Community Rings.

We are allowed to intermingle with each other; there is no rule against that. But there is a rule about curfew. Luckily for me, the Community Rings all meet in a town square, less than two blocks from my house.

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