Love is blind

Chapter 31

Sana POV

"We don't! Its over between us!" Chaeyoung tried to explain.

"It doesn't seem like that!" I yelled.

"Go home Chaeyoung!" I started to walk away.

Dismay started to knot in her words and I didn't care or turned around.

"Sana, please!" She pleaded

She making her way after me. I guess by following the sounds of my steps.

"She said a girl from the cheerleader squad.." She tried to explain.

I didn't want to know. I didn't care about the details. It was over. I walked faster increasing the distant between us. Tears scratched my throat and burned my eyes. It felt like I couldn't breath no more. I was plan to tell her. On my own record. When I was ready. I didn't want her to know how messed up and incomplete my life was just yet. I ducked avoiding low branches as I swerved around a tree jumping the exposed roots. All I wanted was to go home and never leave again.

"Sana, I can only imagine how it has been for you. I just wanted-." Chaeyoung's words were interrupted with a loud rustle followed by snapping branches and a chocked grunt that had me spin and dart back without thinking.

Everything after that happened fast. Chaeyoung was tripping over the roots that I have jumped earlier and was losing her ground.  I couldn't make in time as she already on the ground.

"Oh my God! Chaeyoung!" I shouted as I run to her.

Chaeyoung didn't shift or even turn her head for longer than what should take a person when they fell. I nudged her, but nothing. I nudged her again. Still nothing. Panic started to settle in. Did she fall hard? I quickly pick up her and put her in my lap. Was she hurt? Was she unconscious?

"Chaeyoung?" I touched her hair.

"I wasn't sure if you were still talking to me." She finally response still not moving.

Concern clear in her words as her head kept turned away from me.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

Did she mean emotionally or physically? Because right now its hurt inside out.  I thought hard for something aggressive to say, but at the same time I didn't want to talk at all. I wanted to be alone. She didn't rush me. She waited until I finally gave in and response.

"Yes. Not like I'm the one who fall. You?" I said a bit harsh.

I know. I shouldn't talk like that. But, I can't help. I just need to lash out my anger.

"No." Chaeyoung breath.

"Sana, believe me when I said that hurting you is the last thing I wanted to do." She continued.

Pain and anger exploded inside me and I furiously wiggle under her trying to stand up. But, she quickly wrap her arms around me, trapping me, limiting my movement and building my frustration. I snapped hating the tears that rolled down my eyes and the break in my voice.

"Then why do I feel like it happened all over again." I said.

Her body convulsed like I have just electrocuted her and then froze. Her let go of my waist but her hand captured mine. She steady herself and sit too without letting go my hand. I couldn't look at her. I didn't want to see how sorry she was for my lose or for me to see my reflection again on her shades. I shrank away keeping an arm length space between us.

"I'm really sorry, Sana." She said.

The pain in her voice was something I have never heard before from Chaeyoung. It poured right in my heart. I lifted my head looking at her for a second before my eyes widened as startled gasped escaped my lips. Crawling closer, my fingers gently touching the side of her face where four angry red scratch marks ran across her cheek. One was deeper than the others and a bloody streak ran down to her jaw.

"Oh my god! Does this hurt?" I asked panicky and worried.

"No. Talk to me." She shook her head.

"Lets get you cleaned up first." I started to stand up.

Chaeyoung shook her head firmly seating me back down.

"Talk first!" Her voice was stern.

"Please! It will kill me if you of all people hated me." She said.

My heart was still heavy. Even though all that melancholy and remorse that built inside me was compressed to sheer wearisome after the scared of when Chaeyoung walked into the tree. She was concentrating on following me that she didn't check her steps.

"I don't hate you Chaeyoung." I finally said.

I didn't see how tense she is until her shoulders dropped and she breathed deeply. Whatever leftover anger was in me evaporated under her state. The fingers that were closing over my wrist let go and and guided their way up my arm all the way to my back. While her other hand located my knees then sneaked underneath them. Before I could ask I was scooped up and placed on Chaeyoung's lap in one swift move. She's strong even she's small. My body hummed being this close to her. This felt safe. The strength and warmth her body was comforting to the point that had me curled closer. In response Chaeyoung's arms locked tightly around me.

To be honest with myself, I couldn't see myself built the courage to talk to Chaeyoung anytime soon. Maybe this is it. I watching her, catching every expression that broke through her constantly guarded front. She had question and so far Chaeyoung has given me the benefit of the doubt. She didn't accuse me of mocking her disability or for fooling her for all the times I could have have said something. She was right, we need to talk.

Chaeyoung POV

Hearing Sana said that she didn't hate me calmed my fears and having her this close was reassuring. However, the thought that scared me, that after this, things might change between us. I took a deep breath before starting.

"You know you could tell me anything." I said.

Sana's head nodded on my shoulder. Her soft hair brushing against my cheek and jaw. I tried to find a words carefully. However, I wasn't sure if they were the right ones to say or not. 

"When Momo told me, I was angry because I heard it from her and not from you." I started.

As much as I hated it, Momo's words that stabbed me were still bleeding. Mercilessly clawing my brain.

"I was at your house, Sana! Three times, but I failed to notice it. Even at hospital, your reaction and your aunt checking you, I failed too. People notice thing like that. Hell, the bottom level type of friendship would be able to, at least tell that their friends weren't okay. But, I couldn't!" My frustration towards myself intensified but forcibly kept on check.

"Is that why you choose to be my friend? Because I wouldn't be able to tell?" I asked.

"What? No. Of course not." She answered without hesitation, leaning away.

"Then why me?" I asked.

Momo poisoned voice and words said with mocking smile rang in my head. Look who taken for a blind fool? Sana was silent for a moment. When she spoke her voice came out soft but brittle.

"Because you were like me." She said.