The Ember Garden

Hiraeth

For a home
That does not exist,
My heart still burns

I am homesick
For a place,
To where I cannot return

For a home
That maybe never was,
My soul continues to yearn

Lost places
Of the past
Birth neverending grief

A shelter
For previous lives
Is all that I seek

A place for me
Where my burdens,
I shall keep

Where worries fly away
Like fallen autumn leaves

And nights consist of none
But peaceful sleep

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Trying to get as far away as possible from my neighborhood, I wound up in some random area. My legs were sore at this point but I kept on walking. Clueless on where I was headed, I trusted my gut and let it lead the way. I don't know how long I was walking but it seemed like forever. I was amazed the sun hadn't came out yet because I honestly expected sunrise to be anytime soon.

A point came where my legs seemed to have froze. Not sure why, but they just stopped walking. I found myself standing in front of a park. My memory couldn't recall ever visiting it before but it felt as if a part of me knew this place. I made my way over to a swing and sat down, letting the cool breeze flow through my knotted and greasy hair.

The moon shone through the trees that had been planted in a neat row along the sides of the grounds. The wind made their branches moan softly and carried the echos straight into my bones. I wrapped my arms around me, in attempt to protect myself from more than just the cold.

It was quiet. My head was quiet My mind was empty. No thoughts flying around. No pessimistic predictions. Nothing. I was surprised, since usually my head would be overflowing with anxious questions and random thoughts.
The silence inside me gave a chance to take in the silence around me. My mind was empty and so was the night.
It felt deafening.
I wasn't used to the feeling of silence. It was like the world was asleep and I could hear the universe. The thought of it was nice but I didn't quite like the feeling it gave me.
I kind of got myself to enjoyed it, though. It felt weirdly nice. The night was comforting, as if I was being welcomed.
Something still felt off, though. I was clueless on what my next move should be and that made me feel anxious. Yet then again I didn't feel anxious.
I felt nothing.

A muffled sound echoed in the distance, pulling me out of my daze. I did the stupidest thing I could've and called out, asking whether anyone was there. As a response, I got nothing. Literally. The sound stopped and so I decided to walk in it's direction (very dumb, I know).

The air condensed my breath as I exhaled slowly, trying to calm myself down. I looked around to find the source of the sounds. I could see fairly well in the moonlight. Far out, a small figure sat, curled up on a bench. I reckoned that was what made the noises, since it clearly wasn't a part of the bench.

Leaves crunched beneath my feet and the sounds went roaring into my head, as I slowly made my way towards it. It was at that moment that I realized my head was pounding. The pain pierced through my head, numbing it. Maybe that's why my head felt so empty. The pain numbed out the thoughts, I guess. Yeah ok, I just sound stupid now.

I seemed to have frightened the person, as a string of profanities left their mouth upon seeing me.
Trying to suppress my laugh, I apologized and asked if I could accompany them. I sat on the bench and we both ended up talking for quite a long time.

Well, her name is Paige, we're age mates and she lives on her own. I didn't want to be nosy and ask where her family was, since we had literally just met. Although, the question did remain at the back of my head.

Upon hearing that I had run away, she offered to share her place with me. Being the dumb person I am, I accepted. I guess fate didn't hate me tonight, as much as it usually does, since Paige turned out to not be a creep.

She led the way and we walked back to a house that wasn't too far from the park. It was a cozy home that gave a friendly aura. The place was quite clean, considering that she lived alone. I mean, sure there's no other people who'd make a mess but if I lived alone I'd probably never clean up. There were three bedrooms upstairs, yet only one person lived here. She must feel lonely at times in such a big house.

Paige showed me a room, saying it was mine for as long as I wanted. It had a simple design with a bed and a cute bench at its foot. The bedside tables had small lamps on them. In one corner, there was a rather large window with a desk placed in front of it. Her clothes filled the closet; but since we're almost the same size, she said I could wear whatever I wanted. The bathroom had a fresh toothbrush and towel. The whole place was so organized and clean, it was as if she had prepared for my arrival.

After making sure I'd ask her if I needed anything and telling me she doesn't mind being woken up, she left.

I checked the time. It was 4am. I had been walking for three hours. I'm assuming this since, I'm pretty sure, we spent an hour at the park. I cleaned up and went to the kitchen to save myself from dying of starvation. Paige either heard my stomach growling or she has psychic powers because she turned towards me just as I entered. We both ate and talked about random stuff. Then, we went off to our respective rooms.

The moon peeked through a tiny gap in the curtains and lit up the room just the perfect amount, as I cozied myself under the duvet. I surprisingly slept well. Well it isn't really surprising, considering that I was exhausted.

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I tried writing in a story-like manner just for the fun of it (also since my life is finally eventful). I kind of like it, to be honest. I guess I'll do more entries like this too. But that doesn't mean I'm leaving poetry :D