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- Reviewer Koo -
BOOK COVER: 8/10
The book cover is simple and pretty. However you could've gone for a different color scheme, as it doesn't really match the theme of the story.
TITLE: 9/10
The title 'My Anpanman' is quite a common title and I feel it has been justified in the story. But you could've made the title something else, though not necessarily.
DESCRIPTION: 10/15
I noticed that you have used an excerpt of the story and there were some minor grammatical errors in there. However, you need not have added the 'Stickers will be added later' thing, as it seems irrelevant and unrelated to the story. And as for the achievements and rankings, you could've added them in a separate chapter.
STORY LINE: 9/20
I could kind of infer what the next part of the story would be. And that's not a right thing to happen for a reader. It shows that you are being too obvious with your story telling and for many readers, it becomes uninteresting as they don't find themselves sitting on the edge of the chair to know what happened; exactly what happened with me. And I also felt that the story pace was too quick.
CHARACTERS: 4/10
Your characters were not very realistic. I get it that this is a fiction where things are completely based on your imagination, but you should show some practicality. There was character development only for a few characters and in my opinion, it was not needed.
DIALOGUE DELIVERY: 6/15
In the very first chapter, there was a dialogue where out of nowhere, you added 'blah blah blah' in the dialogue which is not acceptable. You may not want to go into full details but you cannot, or rather should not add something like that. And there were also parts where the dialogue did not fit the situation.
GRAMMAR & VOCAB: 5/20
There are several grammatical mistakes that caught my eye, like tense and pronoun confusion, and made it unpleasant to read. The vocabulary also needs to be improved.
TOTAL: 51/100
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THC
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