Before you go // Jonah Marais

Chapter 29: "I don't think I could ever not want you"

"Jonah?" I call out, unsure where he ran off too.

"Mmm," I hear him hum, stepping around the rack.

I lift a knit light green dress, pressing it against the front of me. "What do you think?"

The dress was a light lime colour. It reached my mid-thigh. I had already looked at myself with it in the mirror, yet I'm still unsure if it looks good.

"Wow. You aren't even wearing it yet, and I'm lost for words."

I feel my cheeks heat up, surely making them a bright red. How embarrassing. Jonah's lips pull into a smirk, his eyes looking at my flushed face. Quickly turning around, I fold the dress neatly over my arm. Jonah and I look around a little more until I have a small pile of clothes on my arm. The girl at the register was young, our age maybe younger. Her blonde hair was curled, laying neatly around her face. Her silvery grey eyes travel up and down the tall man behind me.

Jonah wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me into the side of him. My muscles instantly relax, my head leaning on him. My stomach fills with dinosaur-sized butterflies because regular sized ones will never compare to these. The girl with silver eyes glares at me, mumbling something under her breath. I place the clothes on the counter, my hands' fiddle with each other as I wait for her to scan them through.

I can feel Jonah doing something, but I don't look to see what, too busy looking at my feet. I hear the price being said, but before I could take my card out to pay, Jonah taps his card. My face contorts into a frown as I look up at him.

"I could've paid," I told him, taking the bag off the girl.

"I know, but I wanted to," he assures.

I open my mouth to argue. However, Jonah stops me. His free hand reaches for the bag taking it from the girl's hand. We didn't make it very far, Jonah tries to pull his hand away, but she pulls it back, grabbing a pen writing something on his hand. Jonah looks at his hand before hiding it behind the bag. The walk out of the shop was quiet. Slight awkwardness filled the air around us.

"What did she write on your hand?" I finally ask.

It takes a second for him to reply, "It's nothing."

Waiting for the perfect moment, I grab his hand, flipping it over to see what it says. The first bit leaves me feeling... jealous? The second part leaves me overthinking. Call me -phone number- you can do so much better than her. Call me when your done with trash ;)

I can hear Jonah sigh, but I'm too in my head to pay enough attention to it. "It's not true, Peyton," he declared.

I don't reply. Instead of being this strong independent woman, I feel like a weak, pathetic little girl. My eyebrows furrow in confusion.

We aren't even dating. Why would she say "you can do so much better than her?" when we aren't dating? Wait, Jonah's arm is around my waist, isn't it. That's why she thought we were together. Wait, how does that make things better Peyton? She called you trash. Does Jonah think that? I don't even know why I care!

"Peyton," Jonah voices.

My eyes snap up from the ground, surprised by the sternness in his voice. His lips pressed together in a straight line, his eyes swirling with worry and something else. Protectiveness?

"Listen to me. And listen to me closely." Jonah ordered. "What she said? not true. You're not trash. You could never be trash." Jonah insists. "And I don't think I could ever not want you," he mutters.

He muttered so quietly I wasn't sure If I heard him right. My cheeks turn bright red. I didn't need a mirror to know that. Those dinosaur-sized butterflies flutter back into my stomach, and my skin tingles where he last touched. Why am I feeling this way? When did this feeling start?

"Let's get some food Angel," butterflies. Always the butterflies. "Then we can watch the sunset in our spot."

Our spot. I repeat his words over and over, loving the way it sounds in my head. Nathan broke my heart, shattered it and yet it doesn't feel broken. I'm heartbroken, but I'm okay. Jonah makes me feel okay.

"I would like that. I would like that a lot."

Jonah's face lights up, his eyes bright, filled with glee. Jonah holds out his hand, pouting. The writing was still there, staring me in the face, tormenting me. I wipe my finger across my tongue, using it to wipe off the ink, cringing as I do. Jonah looks at his hand with a smile before intertwining our hands pulling me towards the food court. I should pull my hand away. I just broke up with my boyfriend, for fuck sake. But this feels right.

"What do we feel like?" Jonah asks, eyeing the food stores.

"I want nuggets," I answer, giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

Jonah chuckles lightly, looking down at me in awe. It didn't take much convincing. Actually, it didn't take any convincing at all. After buying us food (with great difficulty, may I add,) we walk out of the mall and back to Jonah's car. The car ride was silent, a peaceful silence. My mind was at ease, no idea how long it will last but savouring the moment best I could.

Jonah drives us to our spot, the top of that hill, allowing you to take in the beautiful sight of the city. We climbed on the roof, eating, laughing, and enjoying each other's company, all while watching the sunset. Leaving the sky a beautiful ombre of colours. My head falls onto Jonah's shoulder as I finish eating. His scent filling my nose, making me sigh in content. This is a new feeling. This is a feeling I don't want to go away. Ever.