Dumbledore and Harry's Adventures

Fame and Loathing

The next morning brought an unpleasant surprise to Harry.

"Good morning, Harry!" spoke an unwelcome cheery voice.

Harry looked up to at the dining room table, to see Gilderoy Lockhart sitting next to a bemused Albus.

"I thought I had another week before we were going to meet" replied an annoyed Harry as he sat down to breakfast.

Gilderoy dabbed the corners of his mouth with a napkin, taking care not to get any food on his lilac silken robes. Once complete, he shot a dazzling white smile at Harry as he responded.

"Indeed, that was the plan, but your recent birthday made me realize that now was the time to strike. I believe I have deduced your primary problem, and how to improve your image with the... sigh... minimum of effort."

Harry's eyebrows rose in surprise, as he noticed Albus leaning forward in interest.

"I'm going to ignore the fact that you just said the word 'sigh' instead of sighing. You really have a plan?"

"Oh yes! Though... are you sure about this whole 'minimum effort' thing? A quick six-month book tour would do wonders. I could set it up with just a few..."

"No!" Harry interrupted Gilderoy. "No book tours... I don't even have any books to tour with."

Gilderoy's smile faded to slightly radiant. "What about the Boy Who Lived books? Everyone knows you get a cut of the profits from their sale."

"What!? No, I don't!"

Albus cleared his throat at this point. "We really should discuss your finances at some point, Harry. Perhaps once we are alone. For now, I can assure you that you are receiving a portion of the profits from that series of books."

Harry looked at Albus, eyes full of shock. "You mean... are you responsible for those... you... what!?"

Albus sighed. "I assure you Harry, I would much rather if those books had never come into existence. When the first book was published, I immediately tried to get them removed from the shelves and stop all future printings. Unfortunately, my detractors were not interested in helping me, and my supporters were too busy buying the books."

Harry groaned, as that seemed about right for the small slice of the magical world he had seen. "Aren't there laws or something that can stop people from writing false stories about me?"

Albus shrugged. "Not really. It's more of a case by case basis, which itself is based on the mood of the Wizengamot or Minister. As for journalistic ethics, that is a concept that has yet to be embraced in the magical world. Of course, the tabloids of the non-magical world make me question how fully those ethics have been embraced anywhere when it comes to celebrities. You can challenge people to duels I suppose, but those aren't really binding and tend to make you look like a violent bully. So, I did the best I could with a bad situation and ensured you at least profited from the use of your name."

Gilderoy spoke up with an impressed tone. "You're why Harry gets a full half of the profits?"

Harry looked at Gilderoy with confusion. "How do you know how much I get?"

"It's written at the bottom of the cover of each book. I hear that helped to boost sales, because people could say they were buying it as a small way of thanking you. It helps that they're pretty good reads, even if aimed at children as an audience. Still, Albus, how did you get half of the profits?"

Albus looked down at his incomplete breakfast, evasively. "I simply pointed out that it was in their best interest to give Harry a more sizable portion than they initially considered."