because of you ✰ britpop

four

i had my legs crossed and my hands in my lap as kate and i sat together and watched the show. i adored the punk style vivenne wetswood's designs encompassed, meshed with elegance and femininity. after the show ended, everyone clapped and we went to go meet vivienne. kate and i were escorted into an area of the building less loud where we met her. she looked majestic with dark eye makeup and red lipstick. she embraced kate and kissed us on our cheeks.

"you're both so beautiful! lovely to meet you both, i'm vivienne." she extended her hand and we both shook it. our managers stood beside us with fake smiles plastered on their faces. we introduced ourselves and just as we were trying to get into a genuine conversation, of course, our managers butted in.

"let me be frank, these two girls are the obvious choice to walk for your fall collection." kate's manager said, pushing her cat-eyed glasses up the bridge of her nose. i bit my lip, feeling embarrassed at how blunt she was. "they have been notorious for their signature looks that have continued to impact this generation's fashion choices." she finished, smiling proudly to herself. 

i averted my eyes from kate's manager, back to vivienne, who had a smile on her face. 

"well, we'll have to get started with your runway training right away, then?" she spoke, eyeing both kate and i with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. kate's eyes widened and she and i broke out into a grin.

"thank you, ms. westwood! we won't let you down." she spoke, her usually soft-spoken voice cheery and filled with excitement. i nodded in agreement with kate's statement and couldn't help but smile myself. 

as soon as i exited the building the show was held in, i told kate i had to make a call. 

"okay, love, just remember about the afterparty tonight!" she winked, waving goodbye to me before getting into a taxi back to her flat.

walking over to a phone booth, i took out my cigarette case and lit a marlboro. i took a drag of my cigarette, slowly breathing out the smoke and gathering my thoughts. 

i was so giddy with excitement and i wanted someone to gush to, but as i sorted through my thoughts of who to call, really nobody came to mind. i didn't have many friends, except for kate, and my family and i... weren't really on speaking terms. fumbling with my purse, i pulled out some quarters, putting them in the coin slot. as i was doing so, a paper fell out of my purse. 

damon's phone number, it read. i bit my lip and smiled as i dialed the number. the phone rang for what seemed like a century, but really only a couple of times before it was picked up.

"hello?" a velvety feminine voice rang through the receiver. i felt as though time stopped when i heard the womans voice. it was probably nothing, i mean, damon was allowed to have female friends. even if they were... more than friends, it didn't matter, because we weren't dating.

"who's this?" i whispered into the phone as i held onto it and my cigarette for dear life. the person on the other line giggled.

"this is justine frischmann... if you're looking for damon, he's dead asleep. but i'm his girlfriend, so... i'll take a message?" she laughed lightly. i bit my lip to hold back tears.

"no... it's alright, i can phone later. have a good one." i hung the phone up and slumped against the glass of the photobooth, tears threatening to spill over the edges of my eyes. i took a final drag of my cigarette before it got to the filter. dropping it to the ground, i stomped it out aggressively.

this emotion was a mess of anger, embarrassment and shame. i was such a fucking idiot. to think it wasn't a one-night stand, or that it meant something to him. i walked out of the phone booth, my high heels clicking against the cement sidewalk as i attempted to hail a taxi. once i returned to my flat, i flopped onto my bed. my phone rang and i groaned as i walked over to it.

"lyla castillon." i sighed, and waited for the caller to respond. my breath hitched as his soft voice floated from the receiver.

"this is damon, i was wondering if you were free tonight?" he spoke. i clenched my jaw at the nerve of this guy. i was assuming his girlfriend left. i wasn't only angry at him, i was angry at myself, and angry for justine, who most likely didn't know she was being cheated on either.

"i don't know, albarn, why don't you ask your girlfriend if you're free first?" there was silence momentarily before he spoke again.

"listen, it's not like that, we're practically broken up... she just came over today too... get some of her stuff from my flat." i scoffed at his excuse. 

"that's not what it sounded like. no, she said you were her boyfriend. and you were asleep. i don't know what you happened to be doing in bed, but i'm not inclined to believe she was just getting some stuff from your flat." i spat into the phone, my voice angrily rising.

"please, where are you right now, i can explain all of this please." he begged. i bit my lip, my eyes darting to the outfit i planned to wear to the after party. i returned my attention to the phone call.

"i'm going to a vivienne westwood after party, good luck finding me, not to mention getting in." i said, before hanging up the phone. "twat." i muttered to myself before falling onto my bed once more and curling into a ball.

i sighed before getting back up and getting dressed in the white lace slip dress and putting on matching heels. i applied kate and i's signature smokey eye and natural lip before taking a deep breath and heading to the party.