"It ended. It finally ended. My... first love." he muttered as he sat at the side of his bed silently. Jipyeong temporarily moved to the countryside, when he supposed to stay just for a few days. Later, few days became few weeks. He spent the sleepless nights far away from the busyness of the city.
Before he left, he met with halmeoni. He will be going somewhere for awhile is what he told her. Halmeoni understand him even though he doesn't say anything. He used to kept everything to himself and build a wall against people. She is the first one to ever make an effort to understand him.
"I won't ask why.. so come see me often. You shouldn't get too used to being alone. Don't... become any lonelier, jipyeong-ah." She said as she noticed something is wrong. Jipyeong burst into tears in her embrace.
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Jipyeong is an orphan. He get used to work hard and take on the responsibility. All of his life, he has been working endlessly. Exchanging letters with dalmi, and becoming her pal friend is like the only color in his monochrome life. He thought dalmi won't even remember him, let alone keeping his letters for years. He thought he's not worthy of her.
When he know dalmi still remember him, to be honest, it made him happy but everything is in the past. Dalmi is already married... with someone that's not him.
Regret always come late.
Jipyeong rise from his bed, he start his day by organizing his room. Messed and untidy. Unlike he usually is, the perfectionist. Funny how people can change over night, because of someone. Silence took place, he stare blankly at the space.
He got into a new hobby to help him forget the past, the regret and the feelings. Everything. He got into photography, taking pictures of nature and landscape. Taking pictures of himself. Trying to love himself after all the blame he put on himself.
He needed time to free himself from the prison he call "letter".
Letters, it such a trivial matter but why does it took so much space in his heart and mind? Let it go. It doesn't mean anything anymore. He cried again today. Suddenly. Randomly.
"I'm crazy, aren't I? I have enough, everything I want I get. I'm rich, I'm smart but why am I crying because of one woman? I don't know anymore. These feeling are new to me. I felt like a spoiled kid, crying after not getting what he want. Hah"
He wipe off his tears, and breathe deeply. "I guess I'm not going back tomorrow too."
He stand up and take a walk. In the middle of the night, sleepless.
