Undesirable

Chapter 13

For some reason, the journey to the Higher Tier seems to take longer this time. It's as if the carriage is moving slower than when I first travelled up, or we took a shortcut then, and now we are taking a drawn-out detour. Either way, my anxiety is through the roof. Butterflies flutter in my stomach and my limbs are all tingling, feeling slightly heavier than normal. My mind can't focus on anything for long enough, I have so many thoughts waltzing around in my head. I have to focus on the scenery outside of the window passing by just to avoid becoming overwhelmed.

Luca smiles at me from time to time, but I don't think he really knows what to say. What can he say? Any questions he can ask me are only going to sound patronising, no matter how he words them, and we know nothing about each other for us to discuss anything. So, we're forced to sit in a stiff silence.

Even though I'm sat down, my feet are being rubbed raw by the hard shoes I'm being made to wear. The backs of them are pinching the skin on my heels and I can literally feel the blisters beginning to form. How they expect me to walk in them is a mystery and makes me miss the sandals that I had to leave back home. Luca doesn't wear pain educing shoes, his boots just wrap around his feet snuggly, appearing comfy and practical. I wonder where I can get my hands on a pair like that.

"Why does the Higher Tier want to debilitate its women's ability to walk?" I question him, dying to take the shoes off.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

I pull the hem of my skirt up to show him the shoes.

"Heels?" He questions. "They are just the fashion at the moment, I suppose."

"Torture devices, more like." I correct him. He lets out a small laugh, amused by my retort.

"You'll get used to them, I'm sure." He attempts to comfort me. Unfortunately, it doesn't work.

"So, I'm expected to wear them all the time?" I sigh. The thought alone makes my feet even sorer. "This dress is long. Surely, no one would see if I took them off."

"I won't tell if you won't," He replies, with a smug twinkle in his eyes.

He has a gentle face, just like Cesare, which puts me at ease. I long for everyone up on Higher Tier to be just like them – friendly, kind, and with a sense of humour. Though the people I came across in the meeting house weren't very encouraging, so I might just have to make do with Cesare and Luca for now.

"How long have you worked for, Lord Pernice?" I ask him.

"About five years. But I have known him for much longer. We went to school with each other," He answers. The image of the two boys growing up together amuses me. Even though I don't know them, I bet they caused lots of trouble. I can just picture them walking together down the school corridors, charming everyone they met.

"Isn't it a bit awkward to work for him then?" I ask. Luca just shakes his head. Before my father became ill, he always told me to never mix work with pleasure. He said it brings an uneasy atmosphere into the household. To be entirely honest, I think he just didn't want me to end up married to one of the land fishing boys I worked with. "Well, even if it was, it can't be much worse than my old job."

"You worked?" Luca frowns as if the idea was foreign to him. Cesare mentioned that only women who have passed the marriage deadline are allowed to work on the Higher Tier, or once wives had finished having children. I guess when they are young, they are expected to be housewives; something I'm going to struggle with.

"I was a land fisher," I reply.

"I thought there was a smell." He smirks.

He better be teasing me.