Unloved - Let us rewrite the stars ||englisch||

✨S I X T E E N✨

We didn't do much in the evening. We ate something and then I crawled into my room. I was incredibly tired and just wanted to sleep, but as expected, I just didn't fall asleep. I tossed and turned senselessly until I gave up trying to find a comfortable sleeping position and decided to just go back into the garden. Yesterday, the night air had calmed me down quite a bit, as had the stars and the moon. With a book in my hand and a blanket around my shoulders, I braved barefoot outside and just sat down on the grass again. The night sky unfortunately didn't give enough light to read by, so I switched on the mobile phone torch and shone it on myself. I opened the book and promptly sank into the world that was so strange to me, but so fantastic.

"You're still awake?" Confused, I looked over my shoulder. "Have you looked at your watch?" "Oh Lando. A sad soul is always awake well past midnight," I whispered softly, closing the book again. "Mind if I join you?" he asked cautiously. "I honestly want to be alone." "Will you come in anyway, please?" I nodded hesitantly and slowly rose. "How did you know I was here?", I wanted to know wearily. "Your room door was open." I'm hollow sometimes too, but how was I supposed to know Lando was walking down the corridor in the middle of the night? I went back inside followed by Lando, but sat down at the kitchen counter. "Don't you want to go to bed?" "No. I can't sleep anyway." "You can always come to me if something's wrong." "I don't want it though, okay? I have to deal with this on my own." I heard Lando sigh and sit down next to me. "I just want to understand you Hailey." "And I just don't." Jerking back up, I stomped into my room and slammed the door behind me.

✧✧✧

The next morning was like shit. Really fucking shit. I woke up from stomach cramps and I had a headache. As usual, I took my anti-depressant tablets, which were on the small bedside table, and then sat up, drowsy. Relatively quickly I realised why I was having cramps. I had got my period, which unfortunately also affected my bedclothes. Of course I didn't have anything with me, because I would have been at home this week and my mum always had something there anyway. But Lando was a man. He certainly didn't have any pads or tampons. I struggled with myself for a long time, but then decided to call Lando. No sooner had I shouted his name than I heard him coming. Panic-stricken, he ripped open my door. "Is everything okay?" came promptly brightly from him. "No... well yes, but I have a problem," I started stuttering and blushing. "You don't happen to have any period stuff do you?", I hesitantly wanted to know, to which he too turned a little pink. "Um no. But do you have...?" I nodded and buried my face in my hands. I was so fucking embarrassed and the fact that I was about to go shopping for the clothes with him didn't make it any better. "Okay. I'll get dressed and then I'll drive to get you something," he decided without further ado and then disappeared again. He closed the door behind him, where he had just been standing with his sleeping clothes and tousled hair.

I had been in the bathroom for a moment and had made an emergency bandage out of toilet paper. Cara had once shown me how to do it because she had gotten her period at a party and had no other choice. I had thought I would never need this tip, but lo and behold, it was a good thing I had listened back then. I had freed the guest bed from the sheets and loaded myself onto the sofa with the thick down duvet. "Okay. So what do you need?" asked Lando as he came into the living room. "Do you want me to come?", I asked instead. "You stay here nicely. Just say what you need and I'll be right back." Okay, that was even more embarrassing somehow. I told him what I needed and before he left he had actually made me a hot milk. Unbelievable.

It wasn't long before Lando was back. I had turned on the TV by then and was watching some weird reality show. "Here I am again. I don't know what kind of pads you need exactly, but I hope these are the right ones." He tossed me the pack and they were even the right ones. "Thanks," I mumbled and got up to crawl into the bathroom as well.

Later I was sitting in the living room again. Wrapped in my blanket and already on my fourth cup of milk, Lando joined me. He had just finished training and must have already taken a shower. Because his hair was hanging wetly in his forehead. "Oh wait!" he suddenly shouted and jumped up again. He came back with a small bag and pressed it into my hand again. "Since you haven't told me what your favourite is, I brought you all of them for once." I had been given a whole bag of chocolates of different varieties. My eyes must have sparkled and if not the big smile on my face was probably still a clear sign that I was more than happy about it. "I think I'll stay here if it's always like this," I said overjoyed. "Thank you, Lando," I then added and was already tearing open the first chocolate bar. "I didn't know chocolate could make you so happy," he laughed. "Besides, you're welcome to stay here." After this sentence I realised what I had actually said. "I was just kidding." "And I mean it. You can stay as long as you want." Tentatively, I smiled at him. "Thanks." "Not for that. So what do we want to do?" he then energetically wanted to know. "I'm all for a serial marathon," I announced my plan for today. "Nothing exciting? Or exciting?" Smiling, I shook my head. "I have stomach cramps. Be glad I'm not dead yet," I overdramatised my pain to show him I was good for nothing today. "Do you need a hot water bottle?" he asked solicitously. "My sisters used to have those things too." "If you don't mind." "No, not at all. I'll be right back." And already he was gone. Just cute how Lando took care of me. As if I were sick, but I wasn't. I wonder what it would be like if I were really sick.

"Here. What were you thinking of looking at?" "I don't know." I accepted the hot water bottle gratefully and then sank back into my blanket. "Can we maybe watch a love movie?" "We can if it makes you happy. Which one did you have in mind?" "Three Steps to You? Cara watched it the other day and said I had to watch it too." "Okay, then

17.07.2021