"Iss Ishq Meïn Marjawan: A Love To Die For~"

Chāpter $EVEÑ

Her...

Dear diary💞

Two weeks....two weeks ago, one night changed my life. The night I met a certain attractive male whose name I've learned is Min Yoongi. The pizza boy😆 I know he says its free food but I know, he's actually buying supper and coming over almost every night under the pretence of it being 'free food'. And I don't mind it at all. I swear I would be lying if I say I dont enjoy the man's hugs❣️ His hugs, his warmth...makes me feel so warm and happy. His skin is so pale and cold thought, yet he gives me warmth and protection when he holds me.

And when he looks at me, my insides are bursting with fireworks🎇! Like I feel giddy when he smiles his gummy smile! And butterflies🦋 by the slightest touch or brush of his hands... And when he speaks, he sparks with a drunk slur that makes me feel like I'm intoxicated... His eyes seem cold but that's only because he's quiet and introverted. When hes happy, his eyes twinkle and I find it so damn cute! Yøongi....his name alone is enough to send me into dreamland.

I'm so fully drawn in by him...it scares me😞. I can't even focus on studying most of the time. Something or the other is always reminding me about HIM...

I'm scared....I think I'm falling for the pizza boy😳 And I'm scared he might not feel the same because...well because maybe, he see me...as a friend? And that's why I want to keep a certain distance between us....which I am hopelessly failing to do. I CANT HELP IT! I CANT HELP BUT ENJOY THE FEELING OF HIS ARMS WRAPPING THEMSELVES AROUND MY WAIST....or when he runs his veiny hands through my hair mindlessly while rambling to me about his day or when he still hangs on to me after we hug or when we snuggle up on my couch and watch TV....

I'm losing my mind.

I don't know what to do.

I'm scared. It's only been a few days...

Is this how one feels when they fall in love for the first time?

If I ask him on a date, will it seem to soon to do or inappropriate of me to do so?

Does he really see me as a friend only?

Or as something more?

Will I ever know?

Will I ever gain the courage to ask him?

Who am I even kidding anyway? If I lose him, I'll be back to square one, knowing absolutely no one here in Seoul. And I enjoy his company a lot. He makes everything better for me by just smiling at me so damn it. I won't tell him anything until I feel he's interested in me. But then again, I've never been surrounded by guys so I really don't know how to pull one in so yeah, fxxk it. I just want him by me and my side. ØNLY.

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»»  1 month time skip...

Him...

I have been meeting with my darling, talking with my darling for a month now. And the need to have her with me, right by my side is growing stronger than ever. So I've decided to ask her out....on a date😊. Ugh! You have no idea how embarrassing it was when Sooyeon noona walked in on me rehearsing how to ask Maya out on a date... I'm still as red as a tomato right now! Mainly because Jin hyung won't shut his mouth up about the idea of me finally getting the 'balls', as he said, to ask my Maya out.