Opposites Attract (Trump x Biden Romance)

Thirst Traps and Pepsi Max

"Hey, Donny, did you hear about Biden today?" Melania asked. Trump barely heard her. He was too busy gazing at a photo of Joe Biden giving a speech. His eyelids looked so good. He had confided in Trump that he had gotten eyelid surgery, and Trump now couldn't help but notice Biden's supple new eyelids every time they interacted. "Donny, are you even listening to me?"

"Oh, um — yeah."

"So, what do you think about that TikTok Biden made?" Trump's heart skipped a beat, possibly due to diabetes, but likely due to true love.

"He made a TikTok?"

"Yes! He made a thirst trap that he meant to set as private, but he accidentally made it public and it went viral!"

"That's what the president's getting up to these days?" Trump scoffed despite the overwhelming urge to ask Melania if he could see the thirst trap.

"You do realize that you were doing much worse when you were president, right?" Trump bit his crusty lower lip.

"Yeah. I actually do. Joe's — wonderful." Melania went pale.

"Do you realize who you're talking about?"

"Yes! Joe Biden, the man who beat me, fair and square."

"Did you happen to drink very ancient Coca-Cola?"

"No. I drank the same Coke as always, Melania. I swear." Melania went and dumped Trump's Coke down the drain and came back with a can of Pepsi Max. "Melania, what the hell?"

"I think that Coke was bad. Drink this instead."

"But it's Pepsi!" Trump whined. He inspected the can further, letting out a groan. "And it's all healthy and stupid!"

"You're not in your right mind. This'll hopefully help."

However, Trump knew that there had been nothing in the Coca-Cola. The only thing he was high on was love.

That night, Trump was in bed, scrolling through Instagram when he remembered Biden's thirst trap. He quickly switched to TikTok and searched for Joe Biden. Instantly, a TikTok with millions of views came up, and he clicked on it. One of those views was about to be from Donald Trump himself.

Biden, dressed in his usual formal attire, was lip-syncing surprisingly well to Cardi B's WAP. On the word "drop," he did a very smooth transition and was suddenly shirtless. Trump's face grew hot, and his thumb slipped. His four stomachs dropped as he realized what he had done. Donald Trump accidentally had just liked Joe Biden's thirst trap.

Minutes later, Trump got a notification from TikTok that Biden had sent him a direct message. Trump took a deep breath and clicked on it. "Bro, are you okay?" the message read. "Why'd you like my thirst trap at midnight?"

"Why are you awake and on TikTok at midnight, too?" Trump responded. Biden sent Trump a video that he hesitantly clicked on.

"Oh, Don," Biden said with a high-pitched giggle, "you're so funny. But to be truthful, I haven't been able to sleep. Not just tonight, but almost all the time. How about you?" Trump began to record a video and smiled at the camera.

"I'm not gonna sleep tonight, either, because I'm coming to D.C."

Trump packed his bags and went to the airport. Whether Biden liked it or not, Trump was coming to visit. This long-distance nonsense was over. So was Melania's constant hovering. All of it was behind Trump now, because he was finally going home.

The next morning, Trump arrived at the White House. The air was crisp, the sun was out, and there were tons of security guards surrounding Trump and holding him at gunpoint. Wait, that wasn't quite right. "Guys, I was just here a year ago! I'm not a threat!" Trump exclaimed.

"That's right," Biden called out. "He isn't a threat." Trump chuckled. The only thing he truly was a threat to was Biden's marriage. "Let him in." The security guards backed away, and Trump went up the steps towards Biden. Wow, he was even more gorgeous in real life than he was in the back camera of his iPhone. "Don, it's been a while, huh?" Biden asked, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. Trump blushed.

"Yeah, sure has been."