Opposites Attract (Trump x Biden Romance)

Coca-Cola Confessions and TikTok Obsessions

Once Trump had gotten settled into the White House, he began ravaging the refrigerator in the hopes of discovering some Coke to drink. As he was doing so, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Just by the subtle firmness behind the fingers on Trump's jacket, he knew who it was. "Hey, Joe," Trump said.

"Hi, Don. What are you looking for? No one can hear themselves think over all the clattering noises you're making from tearing that fridge apart."

"I need Coke." Biden's already-wide eyes widened, further revealing his beautiful blue irises.

"I'm pretty sure as the president of the United States that that's illegal."

"No, I need the drink! Melania took away all my Coke because she thought I was nuts, and I'm going through some serious withdrawal."

"Is diet okay?" Trump felt his blood vessels threatening to burst. Was it cardiac arrest, or was it just plain anger? Trump didn't care either way. If he died, fine. It'd be better than drinking Diet Coke.

"No, of course it's not okay!" Trump bellowed. Biden shrank away from Trump, his hands beginning to shake. Trump's furious glare softened as he took in Biden's vulnerable (and still incredibly sexy) form. "Sorry, Joe. I got a little out of control there."

"A little?" Jill Biden growled from the doorway. "How dare you treat my husband the way you just did? After the election, I thought you would leave our family alone, but no! Here you are, wreaking havoc all over again!"

"Jill, cut him some slack," Biden said, resting his hand on Trump's shoulder.

"Why? Why should I? He's put you through hell, Joe. Why do you care about him at all?"

"Because I love him!" Biden yelled. Jill clapped her hands over her mouth and fell to her knees. Despite all of the chaos surrounding him, Trump was beaming. All of his dreams were coming true.

"You love me?" Biden blushed furiously.

"Yes. I do."

"Well, good!" Jill cried. "It doesn't even matter, because I'm in love with Joe!" Biden cocked his head.

"What?"

"I'm in love with Joe vice president!" Kamala descended from a random hole in the ceiling and skipped away with Jill. They were never seen again, but many believe that they were bound in holy matrimony and then went to live on Mars with Elon Musk and his son, X Æ A-12.

Anyway, after Jill and Kamala had gallivanted away, Trump locked lips with Biden amidst the clutter from the mangled refrigerator. "I love you, too, Mister President," Trump whispered.

For the next several days, Biden kept Trump out of the public eye. They were known for their rivalry, so their undying love had to be kept a secret. It began to take a toll on the extroverted Trump, though. He couldn't always make small talk with random security guards all day long. He craved being out in public again. Having a massive audience clinging to his every word gave him purpose, even if what he was saying was completely meaningless. Plus, he was banned from Twitter, so he had been stripped of one of his favorite pastimes.

However, he did have TikTok. That began to be what he spent his isolated days occupying himself with. Within just a few days, he had followed ten-thousand people and made four-hundred sixty-seven mutuals. The longer he spent on TikTok, the more immersed he became in it. From when Biden went out to when he got home, Trump was watching teenagers do mediocre dances, partaking in put-a-finger-down challenges, and he was leaving thirsty comments on edits of fictional characters. He began to relate more to the teenagers of Generation Zeta than ever before.

One day, Biden came home and sighed as he saw Trump glued to his phone. "Let me guess, you've been on TikTok again?"

"Yeah."

"Don, sweetheart, why don't you do something a little more beneficial, like crocheting, or painting?"

"I don't wanna."

"Cooking?"

"Nah."

"Reading?" Trump rolled his eyes.

"Boring."

"Songwriting?"

"What do you think I am, an intellectual? I'm Donald Trump. You do realize who you're dating, right?"

"Well, I don't want to be dating you!" Biden exclaimed. Trump's heart sank through fifty-seven layers of fat.

"What?"

"I want to marry you. But if TikTok continues to drive this wedge between us, then I just don't think we'll work out."

"No, I want to marry you!"

"Then you need to quit using TikTok so much."

"But we could post about our marriage on TikTok and profit off of the creator fund!"

"No, Donald John!" Biden must have been mad, because he never called Trump by his first and middle name. "Once we get married, we can strategically announce it to the public, and then we'll live a happy, almost-normal life together. That can only happen if you delete TikTok, though."

"Why? If I can be out in public again, then I won't need TikTok."

"So, once we get married, you'll suddenly never want to go on TikTok again?" Trump's face fell.

"No."

"That's what I thought. You need to quit before our marriage — before we make a huge commitment to one another. Alright?"

"Alright."

Looks like it was time for TikTok rehab.