I won't be impressed by technology until I can download food

In sovjet russia [not mine, my friends meanings]

In sovjet rossia you don't go to party, party goes to you.

In sovjet rossia you don't eat food, food eats you.

In sovjet rossia you don't dig hole, hole digs you.

In sovjet rossia you don't make dirty jokes, dirty jokes makes you.

In sovjet rossia you don't look at stars, stars looks at you.

In sovjet rossia you don't laught at clowns, clowns laught at you.

In sovjet rossia you don't get water, water gets you.

In sovjet rossia you don't go at the internett, the internett goes at you.

In sovjet rossia you don't buy clothes, clothes buy you.