Childish

Chapter 42: Anxiety

I was walking to a certain destination to the Sohma's main estate

My whole body is trembling

I feel so anxious

Every step makes me feel afraid

I was nowhere near the gate because of how slow I walk

I tried to walk faster

But I suddenly feel horrible so I puked at the side of the wall

No one would realize it right?

I'm mentally apologizing to Kakeru for puking the breakfast he made for me

I have been walking for hours because of how slow I walk

It really took me 10 minutes to get here with my normal speed

And here Iam at the main entrance the gate is big that made me feel so small

I took a step forward

I got flashbacks of what I experienced here all of the bad memories

I was going to the main house I saw a maid

"Kurenai where have you been?" she asked concerned

"I was somewhere far from here" I answered her with no emotion

"All of the zodiac members are inside will you join them?" she asked

"No I will wait for them to come outside" I said

She went on her way

Well that was weird

If I said that they would be forcing me to go inside

I was at the balcony

I was shivering

I think I'm shivering from fear or from the cold

Both I guess

I was listening to the conversation inside eventhough my curse broke my sense of hearing is still amazing

Akito is apologizing for all the trouble and pain she caused

She revealed her true identity as a woman

I'm glad for her

I never blame her from anything she is hurting inside

I was still shivering from fear and from the cold

All of the zodiac members got outside when they saw a familiar red her girl they all knew

I look at them I had an eye contact of certain black haired girl when I saw her all of the guilt wash through me

I feel even worse than before

I passed through the others

When I was in front of the black haired girl

I kneel down all of them are confused of what I did

"I'm sorry" I said tears falling through my eyes

"It's all my fault" more tears fell down

"I was the one who knew you were trapped at the in the cat's place but I kept my mouth shut because I'm to weak" All of them are shock at my sudden confession

"I'm a coward I had no guts to tell anyone about your well-being even though all of them are worried I'm sorry I couldn't protect you I had no choice" I said I was having a mental break down