The Edge of Insanity

➳ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍

BROOKLYN HOPE

I pouted, alone in my bedroom. Why doesn't anyone want to be friends with me? Is something wrong with me? Am I the problem?

Tears prickled in my eyes, my lip quivering. I'm so lonely. I hate being alone. Back home, I was almost never ever alone—and now I am. Being alone is absolutely terrifying.

I have three sisters and four brothers and so many friends back home. I was never this alone...

I stood up and started pacing, trying to think. I just wanted to make some more friends, if I had to be stuck in a mental hospital.

All I have is generalized anxiety disorder---is that such a reason to be placed here with pyschos? I hear some people here have killed people, or attempted to kill themselves. People that are violent, that do drugs or are addicted to alcohol.

People that actually needed to be placed in a home. But me? I'm not crazy. Sure, I've had panic attacks almost every day. And sure, I can barely function in school. And sure, I was selectively mute for a while because I was too scared of speaking, but I don't need to be here.

I let out a heavy sigh. I can't wait until I'm out of this hell.

***

I walked the halls of the mental hospital, my eyes glancing all around me. I needed to be aware of my surroundings at all times, in case someone was going to attack me. Or something.

I noticed other patients out and about, mingling amongst others. I felt a pang of jealousy. Why couldn't I have someone to hang out with? I mean, sure.... They probably won't classify each other as friends. They'll probably forget all about each other when they leave.

Still, though. I'll be willing for that type of friendship if it meant that I had someone while I'm stuck here.

I took a deep breath. I'm going to force my group to be an actual friend group.

I don't know how I'm going to manage that, though.

Rory will probably be the easiest to befriend. He's so nice, sweet, kind and protective. He's like the big brother I've always wanted but never got--even though I do have four brothers. They're just all so mean...

Jayden, well, I don't know. He has depression so he probably doesn't care for social interaction, though he could use some. He's a maybe, but he seems nice, just a little indifferent to most things.

Layla is a hot tempered yet insecure and sensitive girl. Even so, she could use a friend or a few. Befriending her could go either way, to be honest. Maybe I can pay her friendship with compliments.

Declan... He's a big maybe. He's kind of mean and standoffish and a bit crazy, seeing as he sees things and all, but he's not completely terrible, though he has hurt my feelings a few times.

Alexandra — maybe I should call her Alex or Lexi for short — is new, so I haven't got a vibe from her yet. I don't know at all what's she like. I only know her name, her age and her diagnosis. She seems like a nice girl, though.

Ryder... Oh, Ryder... He's probably going to be the hardest to befriend. He's mean and downright cruel and heartless, but I know that he has a soft side deep down. Everyone does, right? I just have to find his.

We all need friends. Each and every one of us needs someone right now.

If I actually succeed in bringing our group together, I'm sure Mrs. Carina will be really proud of me. Maybe I'll earn something extra. Is there a prize for making friends? I hope so.

I sat down at a table in the cafeteria, overlooking everyone. Then I saw her.

Layla, sitting all alone, a plate of food in front of her. She wasn't touching it, just merely looking. It was as if that's all she wanted to do and had no plans on eating.

Then I remembered that she had an eating disorder. I frowned. She must be struggling so much. I couldn't help but wonder what was going on in her mind right now.

I stood up and went over to her table and sat down right in front of her, wearing a good natured grin to show her that I mean no harm.

Layla seemed startled when I joined her. "Oh, hey, Brooke..." she greets. I just love that she calls me by a nickname. It's almost as if we're friends and that made me really happy.

"Hi, Lay!" I say back. Maybe nicknames can be our thing.

Layla frowns. "Lay...?"

Or maybe not...

I blush. Maybe I'm overthinking this whole friendship thing. Play it cool...

"Ignore that, Layla," I say. "Just trying something out. Are you going to eat that?"

Layla looks down at her plate of food then back at me. She shakes her head and passed it over to me.

"I didn't say I wanted it," I tell her, before shoving the plate back to her. "You didn't even touch it. At least eat a few bites." Did she only get the food to look at it? To smell it? Eating disorders make people do weird things...

"Oh..." Layla muttered, picking at the food. "Did you want something, Brooklyn?"

Brooklyn? What happened to Brooke?

I decided to not dwell on that or I'll just hurt my own feelings.

I nodded. "I want to be friends, Layla!" I say with a smile.

Layla blinks. "Friends? With me?"

I nod again. "Well, yeah. You and Rory, Declan, Alexandra and Ryder--"

"Ryder?" Layla interrupted. "He's such a prick, though..."

"I know, but I'm sure he can be nice," I say. "I just want our therapy group to be an actual friend group, you know? Wouldn't that be cool?"

"I don't know," Layla says. "Rory, I guess I'm okay with. Declan, I'd rather not. Alexandra, I don't even know. But Ryder is a definite hell fucking no."

"Language!" I scolded, even though she was older than me by three years. Layla rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. "Just give it a chance, please."

Layla sighed heavily.

"Only because you're the one asking, fine."

I smiled brightly.

Being the youngest certainly had its perks.