2. Mrs. Pissed

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Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

-Alfred Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam

Light breeze touches my skin and the warmth of the sun only makes me feel better

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Light breeze touches my skin and the warmth of the sun only makes me feel better. The ducks sometimes, came towards our legs and made rounds around the bench. I loved seeing them so cheerful, and it automatically made me smile. The water before me splashed, making the pounding sounds, calming my heart like never before. Though, the street behind us was busy and noisy, but I liked how it made everything more natural and real.

I draped my saree around me to not let the cold breeze bother me much and I could enjoy the perfect temperatures.

"You cold?", His voice makes me look at him and I shake my head in no.

I want to say so much to him, tell him so much, share with him so much of me, but that seven years old wall is only growing longer day by day.

Life looked so satisfying and contended then, even when I had no money of my own, nor a job, nor my teaching degree but him. I felt like a queen then.

And now, I have everything but him, and it feels like I have nothing.

I am married to him, yet he is so upset, angry, hurt and what not.

My best friend, Bihan couldn't resist me for more than a day. Back then, the most he avoided me, was for eight hours. Because I would either cry, or he would become too restless.

And now, avoiding me seems his topmost priority.

"You can stop staring. I feel like insects crawling on my skin."

  - Wow! Such romantic husband!

I looked away, "I was not staring."

"No! You were only having a stare down with my body."

I sighed, "I was only thinking how much you have changed."

I hear a sharp intake of breath, as if he wasn't ready to talk this. Or that he will just act like he never heard what I said.

"Haven't you?", he asked.

I was surprised but had an instant reply, "No! I didn't. I am the same Adu, walking in your house more than mine, celebrating my Holi-Diwali in your house, crying for you during my periods. I still make lists every year, on what all things I want you to do on my birthdays. I was always where you left me. I am still there."

He stood up as an answer, and I thought that was the most I can expect from him.

"It's getting late."

Tears gathered in my eyes, but over the years of practice has given me skills to suppress it.

I stood up and walked ahead of him, to the car.

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