The Avengers Parody - The Kanjers

Intro

The S.H.I.T team of scientists and armed men and women were arranged in the main laboratory. Professor Mahmud was ready to conduct the earth's greatest experiment.

''By harnessing its power,'' Mahmud told Dick Chudi. ''America will garner an unlimited supply of energy.''

''So boss we'll use it to help loadshedding in Pakistan right?'' Cockeye asked the S.H.I.T Commander.

''Yes, of course.'' Dick replied. ''After we actually get Osama's ass.''

The object of unlimited power began illuminating a shiny white light. Then a figure emerged from the light and it was still not visible clearly after the light had gone.

''Oh no!'' An armed guard shrieked. ''Prof you've made us go blind.''

''No you dumbasses. You've all still got your shades on.'' Mahmud reminded them.

They removed their expensive Ray-ban sunglasses and saw the tooth-pick figures standing at the end of the room.

''Meri behen de phone wich tera number dekha maine behenchod.'' Luli told Dick Chudi.

''He must be from another planet.'' Dick concurred. ''He talks with a dialect I've never heard before.''

''Sir it's actually the language Punjabi.'' Cockeye explanined. ''It's spoken by the majority of Sikhs and Pakistanis. Given the type of dialogue I suggest the former's dialect.''

Luli leaped in the air. Everybody took out their handguns and shot him in every place known to man. The demigod was unharmed and shot a force out of his staff that made the S.H.I.T team fly away.

Cockeye was already hidden behind a computer chair. He was ready to bow a arrow when Luli appeared behind him.

''You've got balls.'' He pierced the pointy end of his magical stick into Cockeye's ballsack.

The arrow-monger's eyes turned pink.

''I think he's turning him into a homo.'' Prof. Mahmud whispered to Dick.

They were also seemingly hidden from Luli's view.

''What is your command Masterfucker?'' Cockeye asked in full hypnotism.

''Suck my god-cock.'' Luli pulled down his pants to reveal a dick the size of a shrimp.

Cockeye knelt down.

''Sir, I suggest we leave this godforsaken – I mean goddamned country.'' Mahmud continued.

''You have no idea what they'll do to your fat white ass once we're in Gambia.'' Dick ran out of his hiding place towards Luli.

Cockeye was trying to catch Luli's shrimp-sized lund with his teeth. Dick Chudi slid down and wrapped his arm hard around Luli's balls from behind.

''Sorry Commander.'' Luli turned around. ''I have no balls.''

''Fuck man what are you?''

''I am the earth's great fucker. Queen Elizabeth is shit in my eyes. Zardari's black money is my white money. I-''

''Okay can we just fight the fuck off? Your lecture is longer that bitchin' wife's tongue.'' Dick began to holster his pistol (which was the same size as Luli's dick) and got punched on the face.

His back hit the far wall and he fell down out cold. Luli stopped Cockeye from sucking his tiny white asshole, and after hypnotizing Mahmud, they took the powerful object leaving the lab.

''Cockeye who's this?'' Humaima Malik, Dick Chudi's ass – I mean – assistant asked.

''This is just a prisoner we're transporting.'' Cockeye told her taking Luli by the arm.

Looks like Justin Bieber's lesbian sister, she thought.

The three hopped on to a buggy.

''H-Humaima...'' Dick's voice was barely audible in the signal.

''Sir, are you okay?'' Humaima asked with concern

''Don't let that shrimp-sized dick bastard get away!''

Humaima turned around but Cockeye shot his arrow first barely missing Humaima who bounced into cover. Mahmud started the buggy and they were off to the hall leading to the exit.

Dick Chudi got up. Mahmud's MacBook read SELF-DESTRUCT BITCH. He exited through the escape panel.

A big Chevrolet was heading towards Luli and his new cocksuckers. And Humaima followed close behind in her Chevrolet sedan. Luli hit his staff hard on the ground and the force carried both opposing vehicle into the air bumping into each other above the fiends' heads. The cars exploded but Humaima had jumped out just before the explosion.

Finally, the buggy was out. A shot barely missed Luli's skinny ass. Dick was firing from a helicopter. Cockeye sent an explosive arrow towards the chopper but Dick jumped off just before the carnage.

He somersaulted on the grass. Then he used his tiny pistol again to shoot Luli. Behind him the whole S.H.I.T headquarters got blown to bits and the tremor made him trip. Luli and his men escaped. The HQ was as big as a city and it was rendered to small pieces of crap.

''Humaima you there?'' Dick Chudi asked through his bluetooth.

''I'm sorry Sir.''

''This isn't your fault.''

''No Sir. I'm sorry of being employed by an idiot who's firing a pistol on a god trying to stop him.''

The Kangers theme song rang. Dick answered his Blackberry.

''Sir is it true what I've just heard?'' Obaid Pathan (a respected S.H.I.T agent) said cautiously.

''Yes, I'm afraid we'll have to shift to another HQ. You have to turn on The Kangers' initiative.''

''No Sir, I mean is it true that you were using a pistol on Luli to stop him from getting away?''