natasha romanoff one shots

camping

A cold breeze picked orange and red leaves off the grass which was still dried and yellow from the sweltering summer as we pitched the small two-man tent in the field. Autumn had arrived and this was my first mission of the season. The change in both weather and temperature did not go unnoticed and I shivered even as I pulled my jacket tighter to my body. The sun, our only source of heat, was already beginning to set on this abnormally cold day. It was never usually this chilly in early autumn but here I was freezing.

Nat grunted as she threaded the tent poles through the flimsy material. You'd think SHIELD would equip us with something more durable or at least something slightly warmer but no. All we had was this crappy tent so we could fit in with the rest of the crappy tents and not stand out in the crowd. Once the tent had some form of shape, I helped Nat hammer in the pegs and guide ropes so it was stable and secure. Neither of us exchanged a single word during this whole process, only letting out an occasional expletive under our breaths when something went wrong. It was awkward but it was efficient - that's why Fury sent us on missions together.

When everything was set up, I hauled my bag in along with Nat's whilst she ensured everything was done properly. I grimaced upon noticing just how small this tent was even for a two-person tent. There was no turning back now though as Nat clambered in the tent behind me and shuffled around to zip up the door.

"This is cosy." She grumbled and I couldn't work out if she was making a joke or genuinely annoyed about the size of the tent. To avoid the awkwardness of misreading her, I chose not to respond to her one liner and instead offered her some of the food I'd packed which she gratefully accepted. Then we sat in another silence as we usually did on missions, just eating our cereal bars and looking anywhere but each other. Until the dreaded time came where we had to get changed out of our sweaty suits and into something more suitable for bed.

Nat and I had done plenty of missions before. None of which were in this tight a space and most of which had a bathroom to change in. This was going to be a new experience. I awkwardly stammered whilst gesturing to my clothes and I hated myself for being so flustered. I'd known her for so long yet this was a new feeling and I was not sure where it came from or how to handle it.

"I won't look." She replied, turning her head to grab her own clothes from her bag. Once I was certain she was looking away, I peeled off my suit and clambered in to some joggers and an oversized t-shirt. God, it was cold. I rushed to my bag to grab my sleeping bag and unrolled it in record time. I wasted no time and jumped straight into it, zipping up the side and huddling in. It was only now that I was lying down did I realise Nat was changing too. She already had joggers on but she was yet to pull a top every her head. I tried to tear my eyes away, I really did, but her topless back was so muscular and smooth that I found my eyes wandering over every scar and valley I could see.

As if she could sense my eyes on her, she pulled the top over her head quickly to cover it. Not before I noticed a small tattoo on her shoulder blade though. I didn't quite get a chance to see what it was which for some reason disappointed me. She turned around and I quickly looked away, embarrassed at the thought of her knowing I was watching her. Without a word, she slid into her own sleeping bag and turned away. That knot in my stomach tightened as she did and I didn't understand why I felt like this. Every mission with Nat had been like this since we started doing them together - yet lately she felt even more closed off and distant. Or maybe that was just me craving more from her.

Darkness fully engulfed the tent and the cold was suddenly more intense. So much more intense. I curled myself into a ball in my sleeping bag and tried to stop myself from shivering. My teeth couldn't stop chattering no matter how hard I tried.

"It's cold. Come here." Nat whispered. Again, I couldn't read her voice but she sounded somewhat frustrated at the fuss I was causing so I politely turned her down despite my desperation for warmth. I also couldn't bear being that close to her with my confused feelings right now.

"It's fine, I'm fine." I mumbled.

Silence fell again and I thought Nat had just accepted my decline and gone to sleep. But then I felt her arms wrap around my stomach from behind and pulled me in close to her body. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest and this distraction along with the warmth made my teeth stop chattering completely.

"You're not fine. You're freezing." Nat replied, resting her forehead at the nape of my neck and rubbing one of her hands along my arm to try and warm me up. I relished the feeling of her being so close to me but I still didn't understand why she was helping me.

"Nat, I thought you didn't like me." I half-whisper, unsure whether I actually wanted to say it. I felt her grip around my stomach tighten which caused butterflies to erupt.

"Of course I like you. I spend nearly every mission alongside you. How could I not like you?" She responded and I could feel her warm breath tickling the back of my neck as she spoke.

"I don't know. I just... you've been even more distant with me lately. I know we never really spoke much in missions before but we spoke more than this. The past few weeks you've been really closed off I just assumed you didn't like me." It felt weird telling her the truth, spilling all the feelings I'd been bottling up, but it also felt good getting them off my chest.

"I'm not overly great at expressing how I feel," she began to explain, "So, when I started liking you more than usual I didn't know how to handle it and... I guess I just thought the best option was to shut down and distance myself from you. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry for making you feel I like I didn't like you. Truth is, I like you a lot."

So, she'd been feeling the inexplicable new emotion too. She'd been feeling more than just work colleagues lately too. She wasn't frustrated at the fuss I was creating earlier she was just scared of being vulnerable with me. Everything made sense now. I smiled before turning in her arms so our noses were almost touching and we were face to face.

"I like you a lot too," I hummed, "You know, you don't ever have to hide your feelings from me Nat."

And with that she kissed me. Slowly, steadily and softly. As if hearing confirmation that I liked her to made her ready to show me how she felt. I kissed back, finally understanding the way I felt towards her. In her embrace I didn't feel as cold as she wrapped her arms tightly around my back. I tucked my head under her chin after our kiss and bought my hands up to hug around her waist. One of her hands moved to rest on the back of my head, pulling me impossibly closer and she just held me there. I could feel her steady breathing on the top of my head and I could hear her heart beating in her chest. I felt safe here.

"Hey Nat?" I murmured into her neck.

"Hmm." She responded, barely awake.

"What's that tattoo on your back?" I smirked, letting her know that I saw her half naked.

I could hear her soft chuckle and feel her shake her head slightly in amusement.

"A firefly." She breathed, placing a kiss on my forehead.

Then we slipped into a deep sleep, protected from the cold in each others arms. Nothing could ever change the way I felt in this moment. Safe. Comforted. Relieved. And last, but certainly not least, alive. As for the first time I understood not only Nat's feelings, but my own too, which made understanding both our behaviour over the past few missions a whole lot easier.