I Met Him in the Summer

6. What Do You Mean You've Never ... I Can't Be Your First?

A few days later, there was a big barbecue for the neighbourhood residents. It usually happens every summer holiday (minus a year or two), where families would get together, chat and have a jolly good time.

Tine remembers having a wonderful time with the neighbourhood kids when he was younger, running around town and chasing each other until they were out of breath and burnt.

It has been years since Tine last went to one. Not that they've not been invited because they have, every year — he had always gone to the gathering with his mother and so, he suppose he associates that barbecue with time-well-spent with her. Going would just bring back too many happy memories of his estranged mother.

This year, however, the neighbourhood barbecue is three houses down, so he really wasn't able say 'no, thank you. Maybe next time', like he does every year.

He says 'hi' to everyone there, greets the elders politely and with respect, talks to some of the kids he knows from school before going and getting a plate of food for himself.

An auntie comes up to him and asks about his mother and all he could say is a short and dismissive 'fine' with a Curt shrug, when what he really wanted to say is 'why're you asking me'. He knows it was rude of him but, come on, it's common knowledge around here that his mother and him don't keep in touch or even remotely have a relationship.

Now that his mood is ruined, he goes to find a seat for himself, and glares at his barbecued chicken and pokes at it with a fork.

Should he go apologise to the auntie?

Tine sighs loudly, his tummy responding with a grumble.

A short while later, someone sits down right beside him at the table, a full plate in front of them. Tine feels himself stiffen, but tries to ignore it as he continues to eat his food.

"So, that pond was nice."

Tine's hand stills in the air for a moment and he curses to himself mentally for the slip up before resuming his actions. He is unable to hide the surprise that comes to his face on seeing his friend, though.

But he thinks if he plays it cool, maybe Sarawat wouldn't realise that he had been gawking at him for so long the other night.

"Not stalking," Sarawat adds instead, before Tine can comment on the coincidence, yet again. But that's not what came to his mind at all, because all he can think of was that night and how Sarawat looked. "I came with my grandmother." he says, pointing to the elder woman talking and laughing with a circle of women alike.

"Sorry I've been so busy lately," Tine scratches the back of his neck. "Things are kind of crazy."

"I noticed," Sarawat mutters, "Sure busy in avoiding me."

"Sarawat." he exhaled, shaking his head.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"You're barely looking at me and you keep answering me with these really dismissive responses. What's going on?"

"Nothing," Tine shrugs. But it's pointless to lie about the situation, and it is only a moment later that he lets out a little sigh. "Fine. I'm not mad at you. Really. I promise. I'm just ... I don't know. Things have just been kind of ... confusing for me. Okay? I'm sorry I haven't been around," he says, still not looking directly at Sarawat.

Sarawat nods a little, reaching out to Tine. "What is it?" he asks, "You can also talk to me. You know that, right?"

It's my feelings for you. It's been eating at me for days. I don't know if it's just you or ... I like guys, too, now. I don't know what my dad's going to do, how he's going to react ... I don't know. I don't know what this means. I don't know, Sarawat.