LEGION

Lissome

His lithe fingers grazed my cheeks drawing blood from my flushed skin. That look, it felt like I was staring straight at death, only this feeling was ten times far greater than death itself. I felt as if my life was being ripped from me without so much of a fight, I lost without having received the chance to move a single bone or muscle. 

Standing above me as if they hadn't just snatched my soul up from my limp body, mocking me, stomping me further into the ground, my new solace. 

No one saw me, saw what had happened to me. Swallowing the bile that began building in my throat I moved forward, finally having reached a point where I know if I didn't leave soon I'd really die.

Cracking my lids open, darkness greeted me, just as I've left it. Almost as if no one had been in here but that wasn't the case as you can clearly see that I am indeed here. I remove my heavy body from the wet spot of the bed and made my way towards the old wooden dresser.

Dull. The only word I can use to describe what used to be a living breathing person. My eyes were drawn down into dow-like eyes, they looked lifeless and glassy as if I was dead. My lips set in a thin frown, dried and chapped, I hadn't eaten in days. My skin was pale, I looked just like the corpse bride, with what is left of my caramel skin.

Dragging my eyes away from the mirror I maneuvered my way through the darkroom and to the bathroom outside the room. As I stood before the door it occurred to me someone was already in use of it already, taking a U-turn I find myself in the darkroom again. Only this time there is a streak of dim light shining through the crack of the door.

I could make out the cluster of old boxes with what-not, along with baskets filled with clothes. A circus, a joke of my life, it never made sense why this room had to be so ram-packed with unnecessary junk, but there's nothing I could do but live with it. 

Shifting to the bathroom with my essentials, I mentally prepared for the countless heart attacks I'm about to experience. I blasted the music drowning out everything but I was still scared and paranoid as heck, I kept seeing and hearing things, I really wanted to run away but I'd already missed too many showers so I just focused on not having the next attack and passing out.

I had dressed into a cute skirt with pink silk peeping at the bottom, a neon pink shirt with Sanrio characters scattered across it, paired with pink knee-high socks.

A smile spread across my now moisturized lips and my eyes crinkling at the sides. Yes, I was smiling for the first time in days, all because of a shower and an outfit I choose. 

Sometimes I get really sad. So sad that I can't even stand seeing myself when I'm like this, dull, all I want is to end my misery and die. It would really be so much better if I wasn't here.

No one could hurt me. I would never get the chance to hurt anyone. Everyone would be better off without me.

Maybe I'm wrong but I know I'm not. I lived for so long, hurting and in pain but no more because soon enough, it'll be just as if I had never even been here.

But for today I have a smile, a genuine smile, one that I'll share for the last time. This is it, my final day, the day of the end.

I would offer you my hand but you refuse it and I won't lie and say it didn't hurt cause it did. You brushed past me with your hard shoulder-grazing my soft ones. A parting smile reaches my eyes this time, I grab your arms and look into your eyes. The eyes that never failed to melt my heart, the ones the taught me that love is so much more than an emotional bond. I'll miss you the most because for a second you made me think you'd save me that you were going to. But I know better than that. I love you and I'm sorry I was too weak to love you like You needed like you were meant to be. For that I'll always be in debt to you, Tied to you forever.

Your eyes harden after looking at mine for too long. I know you hate me but this had to be done. Forgive me.

You rip away from my hold and storm away, finally tired of my useless apologies. I turned my eyes away from everyone and walk, walk into my end. I walk until there is nothing left. A single tear runs down my cheek and I look up into the moon, smiling at my forever friend. 

"Hi, sweet end."