𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 | 𝐒𝐨𝐂

𝐎𝐍𝐄.

i: shrine of your lies

The girl was praying for the first time in thirteen years.

Her hair, dark - eyes a bottle green. Her lips bled, the skin torn; blood trickled down to her chin. A sinister mark against her freckled pale skin. She was on her knees - trembling, shivering, afraid.

Natasha Van Doren was none of those things.

"On your knees," Natasha's was unlike herself, as if a different voice was planted in her throat. There was no lift at the end of her words, neither a smile as she rolled her wrists back and forth.

There sat perfect silver bangles, Waxing Gibbous' burnt onto the beautiful dewy metal.

The girl sobbed, slipping against the tiled floor. Several candles dripped in golden brackets lining the church walls. Its glow was golden on Natasha's skin, eclipsing her solemn face with bright light - fit for a God.

"You're only making it worse for yourself. Don't you want the pain to go away," Van Doren grabbed a fistful of her dark hair in her palm, pulling her backwards - two meters. With her free hand a noose of shadow circled around the girl.

"What's your name?" Natasha asked.

"Mallory Desdemona,"

"What crime did you commit against the king?" Her words were textbook, memorised and spoken religiously at seventeen various times throughout the day. Mallory was no different, a pretty face - maybe.

But, if Natasha didn't kill her, she'd never get her fix of Jurda Parem. And without Parem, Natasha wouldn't live to see the sunset.

"I did nothing," The girl wept. Natasha rolled her eyes, tugging harder on the girl's hair. "I swear. I'm innocent. I've got a family. My ma's going to worry when I don't get home for dinner,"

A lump of bile coiled in her throat. Every part of Natasha's body knew what she was doing was wrong, however there was no stopping now. "Wrong answer," She responded bluntly.

The Shadow Summoner curled her fingers in the air, shadow tightening around Mallory's neck.

The girl choked, her feet giving way to the floor. With another lazy gesture the noose loosened.

"What crime did you commit against Nikolai Lantsov, the King of Ravka?"

"It was a joke. I swear," The girl sobbed. "We weren't going to act upon it. It was a classroom joke,"

Natasha sighed, remembering the other two boys she had killed, before noon for the same reason. To think they were dying so young for something so trivial.

"May the Saints receive you,"

With every kill Natasha Van Doren flinched, she couldn't bear to watch as the noose tighten. Screams echoed off the walls like a demon resisting exorcism.

Moments later, the silence hummed and a final wheezed breath hissed out from her throat as a guard came forth and kicked her onto her back.

"It's dead," He grunted, pushing her upwards and hooking his arms beneath her armpits. With the help of his partner they carried, Mallory Desdemona away to be buried.

"Good girl," Nikolai Lantsov whispered. He sat on the bench behind Natasha, chin on her shoulder. He felt her body tense at his touch.It infuriated him. "Seventeen people in one day, I'm proud of you, doll,"

"She was fourteen years old,"

"She committed treason," Nikolai corrected. He tilted his fingers beneath Natasha's chin, harshly tipping her head back to meet his eyes.

He held her between his thumb and index finger, mesmerised by the hatred burning black pits behind silvery starry night eyes. "Don't tell me you feel sorry for a criminal,"

"I am not," Natasha sniffed. She turned to look at him, holding out an expectant palm. "Parem, you promised me,"

A glimmer shot through Lantsov's eyes as he pulled a vial from his pocket. Greedily, Natasha lunged towards it, already salivating at the thought of a fix.

"Not yet, doll," Nikolai grinned, pulling it away from her and tucking it back into his pocket. "I want you to do one last thing for me. Can you do that for me, doll?" He traced his finger roughly along her lower lip - pulling it down.

"Anything," Natasha said desperately.

She pulled her hair back into a loosely tied ponytail, brushing the loose strands from out her eyes. Her cheeks had hollowed, the bags beneath her eyes darker than shadow itself. Her power was consuming her - betraying her.

"For who?" Nikolai asked, his hand still cupped around her face. Natasha loathed his touch; the way he would press his fingertips against her lips and jaw.

There was nothing beautiful for what he was doing. Nikolai Lantsov was a murderer, yet in a terrifying way, she cared for him, even going as far to say she'd love him.

Jurda Parem.

"You. Only ever for you," She blinked hard, staring him in the eye. She felt sick, detesting the words spilling like blood from her mouth.

He kissed her gently, Lantsov's lips brushing over hers with every bit of care and affection.

"Safin, will come to your quarters and arrange everything for you," Nikolai breathed, mouth hovering over the nape of her neck.

Her neck was dirtied with bruises, shades of purple, yellow and green complimenting her dark skin. "I'll come get you in an hour," Nikolai smiled, pushing himself up and walking towards the door.

Natasha followed him until he left, slumping against the closed church door, feeling nothing but desperation and despondency.

A/N

- This version of Dear Detested is more darker and will cover a lot more triggering topics. I know canon Nikolai is far from the version of this book, but I think his character perfectly suits to be a villain as Kaz Brekker is rather morally grey than downright evil. If you enjoyed please vote and comment

- rosa <3