sarah paulson one shots (ahs)

she's fragile and she's ferocious (audrey x shelby)

Shelby Miller was infuriating. Audrey hated everything about her. She hated her dramatic demeanor, her pathetic blubbering, and how fiery she tended to be. At least, that's what the actress told herself for months as she studied the other woman, hoping to get an accurate grasp on her mannerisms and emotions. She also grew to hate Shelby's beautiful smile, how gorgeous she was, and the way she could pull off that stupid black dress better than anyone she could imagine. The development of the latter bunch made Audrey realize that she didn't actually resent the other woman, it was quite the opposite. However, she fought to ignore these thoughts and channeled her attraction into resentment to make her life easier. She constantly snapped at the other woman and made it a point to make snide comments when she was near. Anything to cover the flutter of her heart in the presence of the other woman.

Audrey was stupid to try to mask her attraction to Shelby with resentment, but she thought it was what was best. If she could make Shelby hate her, the other woman would avoid her and it would finally become easier for Audrey to ignore the butterflies that fluttered in her stomach each time Shelby rewarded her with one of her perfect smiles. The actress had decided to hide her feelings in a moment of panic when she realized that her annoyance toward Shelby was actually attraction. The anger that flashed in her chest when Shelby was around had really turned out to be jealousy caused by the way the woman looked at Matt. Audrey wasn't sure how she hadn't caught on previously, she had known she was bisexual since she was a teen. Somehow, Shelby had slipped through the cracks.

In order to guard her heart and protect herself, Audrey continued to push down her feelings toward Shelby and belittle the woman at any given opportunity. Each time she watched Shelby's face twist in hurt, Audrey felt a crack form in the walls she had built up around herself. She wanted to apologize, to tell Shelby she hadn't meant it, but each time the woman had vanished in seconds and Audrey decided it wasn't worth it to seek her out.

This seemed to work for a while, Audrey had found herself on a date with Rory after she had injured herself while filming. The actress was surprised at the invitation due to the large age gap, but agreed anyway as it would help keep her mind off of Shelby. Part of her felt bad for using Rory as a distraction, but she couldn't bring herself to do anything else. After a few dates, Rory had seemed to notice Audrey's hesitance and gave her an out, promising things wouldn't have to be weird when they were filming and doing press. She almost turned it down, but she realized it wasn't fair to Rory to only use him to get over her feelings for someone else. The two parted amicably and remained friends while working together.

Audrey had done everything in her power to avoid Shelby unless completely necessary. It was easy while filming, the actors and the family were never on set together. However, when it came time for press tours, it was much harder to avoid Shelby. The reenactors were constantly seated next to their live counterparts, meaning they were around each other at almost every opportunity. Of course, Sidney planned several parties for the crew to enjoy and made sure each person attended. Audrey tried to steer clear of Shelby, often leaving a table if Shelby neared. She could see that she was hurting the woman, but she had been so terrified of herself getting hurt that she ignored it.

It was one of the final nights of the press tour when Sidney invited everyone out to a bar near the hotel they had all been staying in. When she arrived, Audrey went straight for the bar and ordered herself a drink before going about her usual routine of searching for Shelby so she knew where to avoid. She found a nice, quiet spot to settle in and took a sip of her drink, relaxing at the taste of alcohol on her lips. She looked forward to the numbing effects the drink would have, knowing she was going to need it to get through the evening.

She watched the crowd in front of her with a careful eye, observing the people that could enjoy a night out without a second thought. She was jealous of their freedom; they didn't have the thoughts of Shelby Miller haunting their every waking moment. Her gaze fell on familiar blonde hair and the twist in her gut was almost enough to force her to tear her eyes away. Almost. She observed the scene, watching as Shelby tried to walk up to Matt with tears in her eyes but he shook his head and brushed her off before walking away. Audrey felt her heart drop at the sight, she couldn't stand seeing Shelby hurt like that, especially when it was someone else causing the pain. The actress downed the rest of her drink and, before she knew it, she was walking in brisk strides to catch up to the fleeting woman. There was a moment where Audrey considered spinning on her heel and retreating to her safe space, but the burning in her chest motivated her to stay on the path to Shelby.