prologue ♣

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Good morning Zara!
It's 5:30 am!
Wake up!
Early bird gets the worm!
Apple a day keeps the doctor away!
Here's today's schedule based on your previous activities—

—What the hell. Shut up. Groaning, she switched off the alarm. The dim lock screen, yellowed by eye protection mode read 22 November 2021, 5:33 am, Monday. A reminder popped up, asking her to complete her grammar assignment. What the fuck. Groaning, she pulled off the covers pooling at her feet and slipped noiselessly down the bed.

Drying her hair, she sat down to complete her homework. The clock read 6:00 am. One hour. Should be done by then.

6:45 am. She ran. People did not care to look at her, it was a daily routine.

6:50 am. She was inside the lecture hall, her eyes wandering over to the group at the corner. There were kids swarming in and out and the place was filled with the familiar buzz of students. She walked over to her place.

Okay, so today we have something big—

—Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, happy birthday—

—All we want to say is we love you!

aiden cleared his throat. Today is a very special day, for you finally turned twenty-one—

—I wouldn't give a speech like that if I were you.

—Shut up, I am trying to remember!

—Sure, go on.

Guys, my birthday is not coming until next week.

—Next week?

Yeah. 

—But maryam told us that it was today!

—Yeah, apparently it's next week. Guess I marked it wrong on my calendar. He-he.

You all are a bunch of idiots. The day you will stop relying on maryam is the day you'll be successful.  Her lips stretched, revealing a set of teeth covered with braces.

—Anyways, never mind. So what I was saying was that all we want is to see you rise

and shine! rise and shine! it's school time!

morning, zane. yawning, she rolled to the other side and fell from the bed. that woke her up. damn it, she cursed, long tangles of hair covering her eyes.

—no swearing, no-no. he wagged a finger in the air.

yeah, yeah. now go make me breakfast.

he twirled on his left foot. ta-da! it's already done!

how the hell do you stay so cheery in the morning? i had to stay up so late last night solving that hell of a maths assignment and you didn't even help.

—nuh-uh. you know my rules. eleven-thirty at night and i am not available.

rot in a ditch—

—with you!

grumbling, she slid her feet inside a pair of slippers. frog edition, specially chosen for her by zane. she loved it, but don't you tell anyone that.

how's aarya? she asked cheekily, gulping down on her cereal.

—uh uhm, she's fine, i guess. ha-ha.

why are you ghosting her?

—i am not!

i have proof.

—did you sneak in my phone? i can't believe you!

is it my fault if she texts me asking if you are sick? damn, admit it. you are terrible at lying. now, spill.

—okay, okay. so i don't think this is working out between us. she just isn't the person i'm looking for, you know? it's like, she is looking for a friend and a therapist— but she's confusing that want to be the want for love. she's looking for someone who can disentangle and organise her chaotic thoughts, she's looking for someone who has the ability to make her heal, she's looking for someone who can tell the exact reason why she is the way she is. and maybe, maybe i can play the part of a friend if she wants me to, but she is looking for something in me which she cannot find— a therapist. i can comfort her, yes, but that's only temporary. i want her to heal completely first, i want us to figure out who we are, what we want, what we need and what we look for in a potential partner. i believe that unless we know who we really are, we can never find what we are looking for— because how do you know for sure that what you're looking for is precisely the thing that you truly want when you don't even know yourself?

you want me to tell her? she gulped down the last drop of milk.

—no-no! i want to tell her that. nicely, of course. i don't want her to think of me as a rude guy who only wanted to play with her.

okay then. let's make a deal. drive me to school on your way and i'll tell you.

—rot in hell, he grumbled, perfecting his tie

till he was satisfied with the length. He turned around to face Zara, slender hands deftly doing her tie while she combed her short, unruly hair.

"What's the time?"

"7:15 am, I guess", he mumbled, his hands perfecting the tie's length. She made choking sounds and loosened it, bringing a "tough-boy" attitude.

Gruffing, Zane asked rhetorically, "When will you ever learn?"

Ignoring the question, she skipped down the stairs to their garage and took out both of their bicycles while her brother took one look at their sleeping father, who was surrounded by glass bottles, locked the doors and threw in the house keys, keeping the duplicate with himself. 

Throwing her bicycle keys in the basket, she followed her brother to their school.

"The sky looks pink-ish, doesn't it?" she thought, and her heart broke into a million pieces for the millionth time that day, and her day had just started.




—• It was the best of times, the worst of crimes, for you pulled the chain and I drew the knife •—

some points to be noted ♥
• this story weaves in and out from the past to the present and to the future.
• there will be some triggering concepts, however, no trigger warnings will be given.
• may/may not contain some gory scenes, so if you are not comfortable with that, maybe this is not for you.
• punctuation has been ignored on purpose.
• will contain mild to high swearing.
• when there is no capital in a sentence, know that it is talking about the present.
• when the punctuation is perfect, it is the past.
• when capitals are not used only in the case of names, it is the future.
• there will be a few lgbtq+ characters, so if you are homophobic, then please stop here.
• hate shall not be tolerated.
• this story is purely fictional.
• drinking/smoking is injurious to health.
• plagiarism is a punishable offence, governed by section 57 and section 63 and section 63 (a) of copyright act, 1957.
• constructive criticism is appreciated.
• © all rights reserved.

ps- song references are for me to use and for you to identify. so, here's a job for you— if a particular line rings a bell in your head, tag the line in the comment section and mention what song that line seems to be from. happy reading :)

dedicated to @tokkiobaby for inspiring me with your (extremely, yes) cool writing style.


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