A Bad Idea

"Be honest, are you sure about this?"

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

Abbas recites some holy words over some water with dramatic hand gestures.

Omar watches half sceptical, half fascinated while Ilyas, Abbas's younger brother just rolls his eyes in embarrassment.

I pour the water into our water guns and pray we do not have to resort to 'holy water'.

"Abby, you could of at least dressed the part for flip sake!"

He stands there, proudly in his metal apron that, although it does look cool we make fun of anyway, wellies and off white dirty stinking work clothes... He's a butcher.

"Right, are we ready to go in? Omar, .. Omar?"

He's got his back towards us, hopefully keeping an eye out rather than thinking about where he parked his car because he's afraid to get a ticket.

"Yes Ali. I'm ready to go in." he nods.

Ilyas unzips the bag on the ground and reveals...

"Holy shit!"

"Well I figured I might as well bring everything." he says with a posture of pride.

"Bro, what good is a steel combat machette going to serve us against a vampire?"

Abbas is holding it like a damn baby.

"Geezer this, is, Beee-yutiful!"

"Really Abby?"
"Illy you're an idiot!"

"It is pretty cool to be fair." Omar adds, kneeling to see what else there is.

~I swear there had better not be...~

"Garlic?"
Omar says, trying to take the supplies serious.

"Where are the damn crossbows?"

Ilyas pulls out the crossbows, handing them to us like a quarter master in a movie.

"Bro, the bolts?"

"They're still in the box you gave them to me in."

Omar is aiming the crossbow at the moon, completely ignoring the conversation.

"So they are still in the car?"

"What? Do we need to go back to the car?" Omar asks.

"C'mon geezers, let's go back to the car." Abbas says like he's some kind of leader.

We make our way back across the abandoned mansion grounds, like three shadows and a ghost.

Leaving the grounds we all feel on edge, we really would not like the police to spot four guys with beards holding crossbows dressed in black except the guy in bright white and covered in blood.

Omar checks his cargo pants before finally finding the pocket he put the key in.

The car makes it's noise as the lights flash. Illy opens the back seat door to....

A roar disturbs the night violently.

"What was that?" Illy says, spinning back from half inside the car.

The car roof thuds, dinting under the weight.

"Its her!" Omar says, falling back in panic.

She roars wider than nature intended with cheeks split on both sides, exposing her sharp fangs. Arms wide apart and long sharp fingers spread, it's obvious she knew why we were there.

Abby just stands still, breathing fast and mumbling some holy words, Ilyas locks himself in the car and screams for Omar to get in with him.

"Oi, Karren!" (I've no idea what her real name is.) I yell, hoping to keep attention away from my team.

She hisses right at me but I've seen Blade enough times to act cool, or so I thought.

I run as fast as I can, trying to pump the water guns pressure to something decent.

Feeling her close I spin, aim and fire.

~It works...kinda~

The blaster burns the monster within it's lousy 1ft range, causing her to scream in agony. Looking at me, half her furious face is melted through to the bone.

"Urgh!"

I panic, pumping as fast as I can for another shot.

A machette cuts through her right shoulder joint and she is booted at me, dodging she falls face first into the car window.

Abby is well, lets just say he has a lot of weight to throw.... He's fat.

Down the road, Ilyas is hanging out the window, red laser on the back of the vampires head. He fires.

He hits but the bolt just bounces off her skull. I spent two days removing the arrow heads and replacing them with sharpened wooden tips that Omar managed to get from B&Q (no idea what they were actually for).

Karen (or whatever) looks vexed, grabbing Abbas to bite him but fortunately, he still had his metal butchers apron on.

Picking up the bolt from the floor I shoot it with water and desperately fight to stab the undead, piercing it's eye.

Omar speeds up the road and breaks next to us drifting a little. Ilyas looking badass pops out the window, one crossbow per hand, blasting as she attacks his brother. She screams shocked as her chest is hit, smoking at the wounds.

I unscrew the water tank as fast as I can and pour it all over her as she shrieks.

"Abby, hold her down!"

He throws her down like Steven Seagal and holds her while Omar jumps out like a mob boss and fires at her, pulling a face of disgust at the melting skin.

Ilyas passes me a crossbow, we both lock and load wooden tip bolts. Pressing our crossbows at where the heart is, Ilyas looks at Omar.

"Film us." Ilyas says.

I shake my head in disbelief.

Omar pulls his phone out and lights us up.

"Alright, recording." Omar says, getting closer.

"Catch you at a bad time, davarish?" Illy says, quoting Blade.

We fire, the vampire burst into instant ash through Abbas's fingers.

We all look at each other equally petrified as relieved, laughing.

"Omar, let me see." Ilyas asks.

We all stand around the glowing screen. We can see ourselves being badasses but, the vampire is completely invisible from the cameras gaze. We just look like weirdos but at least we all saw what happened.

"We actually did it!" Abbas boasts, obvious he's going to tell absolutely anybody and everybody.

Police pull up beside us. Four bearded Muslims carrying weapons in the middle of the night.

"Shit."