A Bad Idea

Bad Apple

"Alright, are you sure it's the number 113 and not 111?"

"Trust me."

"Abby, you sent me and Ben to the wrong house yesterday. When I asked if he wanted to come today he said he'd rather not have his time wasted again. Anyway where's Illy? It 10 past.

"I told him to bring the possession kit so either he grabbed the wrong bag, got half way, realised and had to turn back or he's probably stuffing his fat face somewhere."

I laugh my ass off listening to 'Biggie not so smalls' battle rapping his absent, in much better shape brother.

Abby looks at me, knowing what I'm thinking... It's not my fault my eyes and face does things when people talk.

Ilyas's car drives right past us. Me and Abbas just look at each other and can not help but chuckle.

A second later it's back at the bottom approaching us a second time. The car stops next to us.

"Sorry boys, I couldn't find anywhere to park so I'll have to park on the next street."

A couple of mins later he's on foot running from the bottom of the street.

Abby, are you sure you told him to bring the kit?

"Trust me geezer."

Ily finally gets to us after an embarrassingly long time and completely out of breath.

I just look at him, judging as always.

"So what if I don't have stamina? Listen, I go to the gym 4 days a week, and I eat clean. I don't have time for cardio when I'm busy building these!

~Here we go~

He tenses his arms (which do look good to be fair) through his small size t-shirt... He's a medium, maybe extra medium.

We hug as brothers, gave our salaams and he just stands there, clueless about why we are still looking at him.

Beating Abbas to it I ask "Are you forgetting something?"

"Nope!" Ilyas replies dismissively.

I look at Abbas in an accusing tone.

"What?" Ilyas asks in a confused tone.

"Geezer I told you to bring my bloody jinn kit from your house!"

"No you never! It's not even in my house. Why would it even be there?"

"Brother. When we went down to your house two weeks ago I brought a bag with me remember? I forgot it when we left and rang you asking if you could put it somewhere safe? I even asked you to bring it up last weekend when you came for operation 'Bad idea'."

"Well you shouldn't of left it at mine in the first place!"

I just watch quietly as Abbas grills Ilyas into 'flashback face'.

"Well, where is it then?"

He closes his eyes in realisation.
"I completely forgot to bring it. My wife made these low carb mini pizzas and..."

"Let me guess..." I interrupt "...you ate all of them, and that's why you're late?"

"They were delicious!"

I just shake my head, laughing.

"Alright, lets go in!" Abbas says in his 'leader voice' and knocks on the door.

Abbas just stands in front of the door and waits, I'd have knocked a second time already.

Suhail answers the door, pleased to see us and welcomes us in.

"Asalaamu A'alaikum (may peace be with you), come in come in!"

"Wa alaikum asalaam (and peace be with you)." we reply as we enter and kick our shoes off.

"It smells sooo good in here." Ilyas whispers to me while Abbas talks to Suehale about the problem.

"Didn't you say you'd just eaten before you came out?"

"I did but I miss roti salan (curry and chapatti)." He says with a heavy heart and slimming stomach.

Sitting down a lady wearing hideous clothes and a head scarf half down her head brings in some tea for us.

"So my wife and I have noticed our sons grades have started to decline over the last few months. My sister and both my wives uncles told us it may be a jinn (spirit) problem, that's what's causing our son to lose concentration."

"Have you not noticed any other kind of odd behaviour?" Abbas asks with a concerned expression on his face.

"Yes. He spends a lot more time on his phone and facebook and snapchat and whatssap and so on. He just doesn't study anymore."

"Let's just go talk to him" I abruptly say, standing ready.

Suhayl leads us upstairs to the boys room.

Asalaamu A'alaikum, my name is Ali." I say with my hand out.

"Wa alaikum as salaam. Shauqut." He absently replies.

Ilyas assumes the role of 'bad cop'.
" So, .."

Loud voices and banging can be heard outside the door where Suhayle and his wife are 'on stand by'.

10 mins later we open the door. Shaukat's parents look at us shocked. Their boy is crying on the bed.

"Do not worry, he has been exorcised ghetto style!" Ilyas says quite smug.

Confused expressions gape at us.

"He means he is free of the evil possession." Abbas says.

Walking out last I pass them the kids mobile phone.
"I suggest you change the wifi password just to be on the safe side."