Forever Lost

Chapter 12

I haven't been able to sleep for days.

Almost two hours. That's all the sleep i had managed to get last night before the nightmares started, and it was the most i'd had all week.

The nightmares have been happening more frequently, and more intense. I thought finally being away from that house, away from him, would allow me to finally rest. To have some peace. But i was wrong, i'm having more nightmares than before.

Dragging myself out of bed i grabbed a book and turned my lamp on, returning to the warm sheets to read for the rest of the night. Although i found it difficult to read my the tiredness in my eyes.

I ended up just sitting against the headboard with my knees tucked into my chest with the covers over them, staring at the far end of my room.

It's only when my door slowly opened that i realised it was now light out.

"Hey bells, you awake already?"

Kai entered my room as i looked over to him.

I nodded and stood to go and get ready for the day.

"Breakfast is almost done, come down whenever your ready," he smiled but i noticed the concern in his eyes.

I dressed in a pair of thin light grey cotton joggers which almost felt like pjama bottoms with the material. Which come to think of it they may be, and i had a long sleeve matching top, which again may also be a pjama top. I really wasn't sure.

Putting on a pair of fuzzy socks before heading down I was the last to enter the kitchen that morning.

I was greeted by a few of my brothers but found it difficult to enter any conversations, a small smile is a i managed out.

Leonardo placed a bowl cheerios in front of me, and rubbed his thumb on the side of my face affectionately before retreating to his seat.

I don't think i could stomach any food right now without being sick, just the thought made me nauseous.

"Bella."

I looked up at the sound of my name and noticed Dad had been trying to get my attention.

"You alright baby, you zoned out?"

I nodded and looked back down to my food.

I only managed a few bites and spent the rest of breakfast sipping on some water.

As the boys began tidying up and dispersing to go do there own things for the day dad came over and knelt by my chair.

"What's the matter baby your not looking so good, and you've hardly eaten the past couple days, are you feeling sick?" He questioned placing his hand on my forehead.

I shook my head and mumbled "tired."

"You wanna go take a nap?" he asked to which I shook my head.

"Hm okay, we'll i think some of the boys are playing some games on the xbox if you wanna go join them?" He offered.

Standing up i nodded and made my way to the front room, seeing my twin sat with Enzo and Kade, with Ash and Eli on the other couch.

Isaac instantly smiled at me as i sat in the space between Ash and Eli.

I didn't pay much attention to the game they were playing, nor the movie they eventually put on due to Isaacs request. I just sat with my knees to my chest and stared at the floor, not feeling in the mood to watch a film.

"You alright babe, you look tired?" It took me a moment to register Ash's voice. "Take a nap if you want," he patted his lap.

I didn't want to sleep but laying down sounded good.

He stroked my hair as i laid in his lap, and it took everything in me to keep my eyes open.

"Bells why aren't you sleeping, what's the matter?" Ash questioned as he tucked my hair behind my ear and stroked my jaw, noticing my struggle to stay awake.

"If your tired you should sleep." He added at my lack of response.

I didn't feel like talking, i don't know why but i just didn't.

"Stop babying her Ash," Enzo gave a glare to his brother.

"Im not babying her, jackass."

"She's just tired," Enzo rolled his eyes. "You've gone too soft."

"She's my sister i'm allowed to be soft, now would you kindly fuck off," Ash retorted.

"What's going on?" Luca interrupted before Enzo could say anything else.

"Enzo being a dick."

"Fuck you Ash," Enzo snapped.

"Grow up the both of you, both your youngest siblings are sat right next to you," he gestured to Isaac and I.

However, i wasn't t really paying attention to there argument.

"Lunch is ready, in the kitchen," he added ending the discussion and all the boys got up and left for the kitchen.

Ash ruffled my hair as he stood up, whilst i remained sat on the couch.

"You hungry Bella?" Luca asked and i shook my head.

He bent to meet my eye level, "you should really try and eat something, even if it's small, you've not had a proper meal for a few days."

"I'm not hungry," i just about whispered, "can i go to my room?"

He sighed but nodded, cupping the side of my face and placing a kiss on my cheek before letting me go.

I retreated back to my room wanting to be alone for the rest of the night. And when Kai knocked on my door for dinner i didn't want to leave so he brought my plate up for me.

But it remained untouched and i spent another night laying awake, feeling alone and helpless.