Athazagoraphobia

Forgetting: Leonard Ford

"Mom," Leonard whispered, as a child often does when he approaches his sleeping mother with the conflicting desire of both awakening her for his own selfish reasons and watching her in her restful state.

Lisa didn't open her eyes. She was too peaceful in her half awake and half asleep state to even acknowledge the presence of the man who held her hand, tenderly and hesitantly, and who sat beside her.

"Mom," Leonard whispered again, louder now that Lisa's tranquil state began to resemble a dead body more so than a sleeping human being.

Lisa scrunched her eyebrows, her lips parted, but she didn't open her eyes.

Leonard did all he could to suppress his sigh of relief, but the pure, unfiltered, happiness he felt, knowing that his mother, the woman who gave the gift of life to him, was still alive, was not easily suppressed.

"Mom, can you hear me," Leonard asked, his voice resembling a young child than that of a fully grown man.

Opening her old eyes slowly, grimacing as the light hurt her, Lisa opened and closed her mouth, wet her tongue, as old people often did.

"Can you recognize me," Leonard asked her out of habit.

Lisa blinked, wet her lips, scrunched her eyes, but no matter how often she tried to clear her vision, the man looking down at her seemed unfamiliar.

"Mom, it's me. Leonard- your Leo," he said, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, his hands trembling as he held Lisa's hand in his own.

"Leo," Lisa whispered, testing the name out on her tongue. She could vaguely remember herself, forty six years ago, cradling a baby in her arms and calling it "Leo."

"Try to remember me," Leonard whispered, even though they were the only people in the room.

"I-I remem," Lisa tried to speak but her memories only came to her in fragments.

"Do you remember me," Leonard asked, his hand clutching Lisa's tighter, his voice rising a bit as he urged a woman to remember her own son.

Lisa closed her eyes and took deep breaths.

"It's okay, mom," Leonard whispered, smoothing over her gray hair with his large calloused hands, but his tongue began to slur as tears clogged his throat.

Lisa laid there on her white hospital bed and Leonard sat next to her, like he did every other day, in solitude until a nurse came in to tidy the room and to check on the patient.

Seeing the nurse, Leonard suddenly remembered the news he had come to tell his mother. It wasn't something he could easily forget, but somehow, he still had and this troubled him.

"Mom."

Lisa opened her eyes again and this time, she recognized the face looking down at her.

"Leo, is that you?"

Leonard smiled as a few tears rolled down his face.

"You finally remembered."

Lisa's body shook slightly as she laughed.

"Now, how could I forget my baby boy," she said, not recalling how she had failed to recognize him merely minutes ago.

The nurse left the room, smiling, lost in her own thoughts.

Now that his mother recognized him and seemed to have a moment of clarity, Leonard didn't know how to tell her the news. He felt stuck as he stared into his mother's hazel eyes, a carbon copy of his own, and his tongue faltered.