ACOMAF (Rhys's POV)

Smile Again (Chapter 44)

It took me precisely half an hour to stop actively trying to convince myself she hated me and open the door. As I stepped out onto the terrace and took in Velaris from the upper balconies of the House, I knew I'd made the right call by coming.

The city glowed under the soft lanterns that had been dimmed to accommodate the coming attractions. Music hummed celestial in every corner and smiles met me at every turn. My chest expanded inhaling it all in.

Home. This was home.

It was every bit as spectacular as I'd remembered, and every bit as painful as I'd expected it would be while I waited Under the Mountain. But it was worth it. Fifty years of hiding came flooding back into my mind and it was an effort not to buckle as the realization of what I'd survived - what I'd earned - fell upon my shoulders watching citizens move out clinking glasses, sharing stories, laughter. There wasn't a cloud in sight.

This was Starfall and it would be magnificent.

The city that housed every single one of my dreams gleamed at me with life and love and hope as I walked into the throngs of people, things I had almost lost. We all had. But looking around, I could feel the pieces of myself that I'd lost dancing around me, begging me to reach out and grab them. I just couldn't quite... reach yet. Something was missing. Too much pain blocked the way, told me it was all a lie and that I wouldn't be allowed any of it.

If Morrigan had heard my thoughts, she would have said I was sabotaging myself again and made good on her word to have Azriel kick my ass back to Hybern. I spotted the Shadowsinger in question across the way, along with Cassian sharing a laugh with a mutual friend, and simply stared, unable to move forward and accept that any of it was real. It was so normal. My friends...

I swallowed. And then I saw her .

A narrow lane parted in the sea of people around me, leading only to Feyre. Her hair, pulled back by two crystal pins, dripped down behind her in a golden caress of her back that moved softly on the breeze. Diamonds and tiny crystalline jewels of faintest blue, a softer shade of my mother's sapphire ring, adorned the dress that clung to her every curve.

Curves .

She had them now and in abundance. This wasn't the full bodied seductress I'd taken to court. Feyre looked happy and healthy, and when she turned her head enough for me to see her profile, my stomach dropped out completely at the sight of her, a fallen star ready and waiting for someone to catch her and break her fall. That now familiar rhythm of my soul conducted a melody in time to my heartbeat, one word for each beat that I never wanted to stop hearing.

Feyre wasn't my friend. Could never be my friend no matter what little pieces of her heart she was willing to let me protect. I might be nothing more than a ghost or a friend in her life, but I knew looking at her there was only one option my heart could make room for if Feyre was to stay, only one way I could picture her.

My-Mate.

My-Mate.

My-Mate.

My heart sped up at each beat of the words.

"If you don't shut your mouth, you'll get drool all over the ground and while I know you've been gone a long while, we don't allow behavior like that at Starfall anymore," Cassian hissed in my ear.

Startled though I was at the sound of his voice pulling me from what had apparently become an outright stare at Feyre, I managed to contain myself to a mere twitch of my head. Cassian barked out an amused laugh knowing exactly where my weaknesses were.