Chasing Kate

Chapter 19. Turning into a House Wife.

I recognize I've gotten to the point to where I sound like damn Romeo or some shit.

I talk about Kate-Anna like she's a mother truckin goddess, I describe her the way she is in my head, the memories I have of her and her being mine. I replay our memories and relive in them more times than not. I have come to realize that by telling you how I feel about her, it makes me sound like a glorified knight. Just know that I am not, I am still the same douche bag that slept with girls all the time, who didn't give a fuck to cheat on my girlfriend, who didn't care to get dog ass drunk or so fucking high I saw unicorns. I'm still that person. I'm trying to be a better version of me, without the bullshit but I'm not sure if I will be able to change me.

Don't get me wrong, I would be so fucking elated to be with Kate-Anna again. I would be honored for her to allow me into her heart again and for me to call it my own. I want our souls to be the same soul, or whatever. I want her to know my heart is hers, because it always has been. I've made a lot of mistakes, I've ran around chasing girls like it was my damn job and that makes me a bad person.

I can't help but feel like when I am with Kate that she is who I am suppose to be with. So much water has been under the bridge that it's ate way the concrete that was used. I'm at this place in my life where I've got to stop bull shitting my life away. I just want to create a new path and go from there.

I didn't have to complete my last semester at OSU, I can complete them at the community college so I can pursue literature further.

I've spent my weeks settling into a routine, Dr. Schwartz offices on Thursdays, I work Monday through Friday, I eat dinner at my parents ever night, Kate & I talk most nights, and we go out on Saturday nights.

I'm still awkward around her but at least I'm around her. I've been playing my guitar a lot more lately too. It's nice to pick it back up.

I use to run this high life and I see how much it's taken it's toll on me.

*************

"Lucas, after all of this time, you coming to my office for sessions, do you feel as if you are earning something from them? Dr Schwartz asked me.

I've come to the terms that Dr Schwartz is almost like the responsible form of me. It's kind of nice to identify with him, seeing that he is a few years older than me.

"Therapy has helped me learn that I can't keep all of those emotions bottled up. " I replied.

"Sometimes it's good to let it out. Our unspoken words can become poison to us and it makes us have toxic relationships, which in your case lead to drugs and alcohol.

Do you see know that your addiction was fed from your desire to not feel the absence of Brody, your family, even Kate?"

"I see that." I said lowly.

"And do you realize that you were an addict?" He asked me.

All this time I've remained adamant that I was NOT an addict. I felt in control and that I could have not done it if I chose that I didn't need it.

But that was in my head. The facts stared me in the face.

I used at least 3 times a week, I liked the way it felt, I stole from my mother, I overdosed & I had withdrawn. I know I was an addict. I just didn't like the bitter taste that word left on my tongue.

"I know I was. I have a hard time with using it, in that form. I could even go as far as saying I had an addiction, but to say an addict? Everyone will instantly form an opinion against me." I replied back.

"Lucas, you were an addict, you had an addiction. But that's not who you are. You have to see yourself for far more than what you give yourself credit for. You are not defined as your mistakes, you are only human. Form the right choices and move on."

Mentally I said "Hi I'm Lucas Wesley and I'm a addict."
Yeah that sounds pathetic.

I guess I needed to take his words to heart and prove it to myself that I could do better and be better.

That afternoon when I left Dr Schwartz office, I drove to my parents house for dinner. I was early but I didn't have any other meetings to attend to.

When I entered the living room,
I heard giggles and a little voice that said "Stop Lollie. It tickles."

"I'm going to get you and gobble you all up!" My mom exclaimed.

"Who's this?" I said and smiled at the little dark haired boy that was on the couch beside my mom.

My mother looked like she had saw a ghost, like she didn't expect my company at all.

"This? This is R.W. , he's the little boy from down the street." She said.

I walked over to the couch, bent my knees and looked at him.

Kids aren't my thing. They creep me out and I'm 100 % sure I never want to have a child but he was a pretty cute kid.
"Hey bud. I'm Luke. Nice to meet you."

"Hi wuke." He said.

My mothers phone rang and she walked into the foyer to take the call.

I sat beside R.W. (By the way what in the hell were his parents thinking?) and pushed one of his trucks.

"Vroooomm" he said as he rolled the car on my hand.

I probably looked like a crazy killer to a little boy who had probably never saw tattoos like mine before.

"No, I'll bring him to you." I heard my mother said.

She came back in, and said "Cmon buddy. We gotta go meet your mother."

"No Lollie. I stay with Wuke and play trucks." He said.

"No darling, we can't keep your mommy waiting" and she came and scooped him up.

"Bye little dude." I waved to him.

**************************

After mom returned and I ate dinner I helped cleaned up my mess (damn am I turning into a house wife or what?) I went home.

I had turned my second room into a gym with a treadmill & weight bench. I had skipped working out for the past 3 days or so.

With the weight of the words from my session with Dr Schwartz I needed to just let the words flow to my feet so I could forget them.

I put my headphones in and let Drowning Pool surround my head.

I had ran for a hour when my music was interrupted by a text notification.

"Would you want to do Breakfast with me tomorrow?"

" Of course. What time?"

"Pick me up about 10?"

"See you then."

Breakfast was Kate Im sure it would be just like dinner with Kate. Exceptional.

Authors note:

How is everyone liking Chasing Kate? Anything you want to read you haven't yet? I feel like I've spent the last chapters taking all about Lucas and such but it's about to start more of Lucas and Kate-Anna together, eventually.

Thank you for reading. I apologize for the language in this book, it's like Lucas lives inside my head so I go into Luke mode and this is what I get.

Let me know your reading, let me know what you like!

Thanks!

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Jay_Stewart88