New Beginnings

8/14/2021

A lot's been going on lately. Mood swings are definitely happening. I think I had like 4 different moods in like 5 minutes the one night. Even when the swinging kinda stops, I still feel like depression kicks up pretty bad. Lately I'm not sure why I even get so depressed. I feel bad because it ends up making the best person in my life upset, and I have no idea how to help her feel better. 

The HRT being stopped is definitely making an impact on me now. I've been getting more and more upset over dumb things. Even worse, I've been getting angrier and angrier at little things, and this anger leads to massive migraines.

To make matters worse, I feel like I'm just the worst. Our friend has been going through a lot between loss of a family member, and her husband being really sick while out of state for work. The whole time, despite feeling bad for her, I just have been getting this upset feeling because we've been spending a lot of time with her and I wanna be home sometimes too. So I feel terrible because what I'm going through is far less than what she is, yet, I'm getting upset like I have it worse.

I guess on a better note, since this IS supposed to be positives, it's almost vacation time! Sure there may be some anxiety over the idea of swimming at the beach, but at least I'll be there with my girl. On the way home, we're even stopping to see a gaming friend of mine! First time I'm gonna meet up with someone from my little gaming group.

It's been a bit longer than expected since I last wrote, but I tried last weekend. I wrote a little paragraph and realized that I have no idea what to write about. I have no idea how to put my feelings into words a lot of the time.

Well, this one's a little short, but I don't quite know what else to talk about. I think I'll just end it here for today. Maybe I'll think of more to add tomorrow. Hope y'all have/had a wonderful day! Byez!

~Maddie