"Don't act like I'm average."

"What You Heard"

It's been weeks since I talked to kentrell. I felt like a piece of shit. Kentrell had me living in a different world than I was usually in.

Problem was I didn't want to leave my old world. It was for the best that I stayed in my old world, forgetting the new one.

I sat up in my bed and picked up my phone from my nightstand. I noticed that I've gotten 8 messages and 4 missed calls from kentrell.

He must be confused on why I haven't been talking to him. 

"That's fucked up brent.." I mumbled as I scrolled through the voicemails. 

"Hey, it's Kentrell, call back"

"Hey this is Kentrell, get back to me when you can."

"Kentrell again, Why aren't you answering my calls?"

"Hey Brent, you good?"

"Hey.. just call me back. Okay?"

-

I felt bad. I was ignoring him on purpose. I needed to distance myself from him. Things were getting to me. I started to fall for.. a hoe.

I was catching feelings way too fast.

This isn't easy for me at all. 

Hearing the word "hoe" come out of my mouth made me feel sick. But it was the truth.

For once in my life my mind just stopped working, unable to catch up to what was happening around me. One minute I was living my best life with kentrell and the next I'm alone, stuck, and lost.

An existential crisis warring in myself as the words blanked at the tip of my tongue.

Failing to sit at the edge of the bed, blinking slowly, holding the uncompleted "his forever" puzzle piece chain in both hands, why am I holding this again? Looking down at the chain, remembering how excited Kentrell was when I bought us matching chains.

Huh? something is off here..

My heart hurts.

Not from physical pain but its throbbing, sunken.

My mind is spiralling.

What is happening to me?

I know yet.. I swallow down that feeling, shaking my head away. There's been a couple of times I ghosted someone but it's not that bad, there's penalty more hoes I can get.

But they're not him

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