Forgotten Souls

002. 𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

CHAPTER TWO.
" hesitance "

WORD COUNT :
3,062

IT WAS nearly two months later and to say the least, it had been exhausting, physically and mentally, to settle into Alexandria. Aaron assured me that I could stay in his and Eric's shared home until further notice.

I learned this place was serious about letting people take refuge here, because I was interviewed by a woman named Deanna who told me she was in charge of this place. She also told me that I would be a nice fit into her community, although after several questions about my past, to each I never gave the full truth. Why should a stranger know of my journeys?

The second thing I had noticed about Alexandria was that no firearms were carried inside of the walls. That meant I was to turn in my lonesome pistol. The handgun had my initials carved into them - "CJJ", it read. The firearm I had grown so fond of only held a singular bullet, and along with that bullet was a reason I'd never disregard.

I kept one, no matter what, even if the bullet was the only thing between me and imminent death - whether it be a biter or a survivor. I always counted each shot I'd fire, without fail, all to save a bullet I planned to use for myself in the most dire situation.

A bullet I'd send out of my gun with my own finger pressing the trigger, breathing in my final breath. If I were to go, it'd be on my own, conscious volition - not walkers, not another person.

Me.

I'd always seen death as a walk on the plank. Below was thrashing waters that pushed against the rocks as harshly as it always had. This harsh sea that I had learned was called death was always here, waiting for the moment I'd make an appearance to join it as one. In my mind, once you were on the plank, it was over. The decision was made. But I'd still have one last choice to make, and I already knew my answer.

In that position, on the plank, you had three choices: jump, fall, or be pushed. I would jump. If there was one option I had crossed out, it was the fall. And I most certainly would not be pushed, whether it be out of mercy or not. I wouldn't have the decision made for me. So I saved a bullet. Always.

The Alexandrians had been very welcoming, but I was still skeptical, and they seemed to catch onto that.

As much as I hated parting with the gun that had saved my life on multiple occasions, part of me was glad they took it. The only place I had encountered that let me keep my gun was a community that later took them anyway and locked me in a train car where I awaited 'meal-prep'.

Yep, they ate people. Those... Termites tore the flesh from the bone with no regard where it originated... or maybe they did have regard for it. Maybe that made their meal all the better, that it had come from someone they led into a trap. Someone they could have befriended and became much stronger than they originally were. Someone they rendered helpless, all on their own.

Possibly, for them, eating humans evoked a feeling much stronger than that of a squirrel roasting above the crackling fire would provide. The feeling of victory - victorious, they were, because they had slaughtered their way closer to being the last people on Earth. The chosen ones. They had marked their own journey, leaving a trail of blood and bones in their path.