maybe, probably

one

I didn't think I'd be spending my Thursday morning driving around town looking for my father.

I barely have a permit and I have to go to school exactly two hours from now. But I'd be fooling myself if I made it seem as if this was drastic for him. Sure, anything that involves him is bound to be messy but today marks a new low.

"Aww Skylar, sweetheart, you came and looked for your old man, huh? And here I was thinkin you didn't care about me."

My father, who had usually stood strong and confident in his 6'2 stature, now hung his head low and looked weak. I can only assume it's because of the cheap liquor he had in his hand and only bought to mask his feelings.

It was like he was teenage boy free and doing as he pleases. The sad thing is he wasn't a teenage boy. He's a grown man with children at home and missing for hours. Leaving his middle kid having to fear if alcohol poisoning was a possibility.

"Yeah me neither, Rick. And yet here I am picking you up from in front of a daycare. This is a new low even for you," I voiced my concern in the most disappointing way, gripping his forearm and pulling him.

An opened and empty bottle of his liquor fell from his lap and I kicked it beneath a nearby car in the parking lot trying my best not to spill any on my Mary Janes. I tried my best to push him into the side of the truck.

Making my way back around the truck I saw the stares of parents dropping their kids off and did my best to ignore them. I hopped in as quickly as I could and checked my watch to see that I had an hour left. If I don't step on it I'll be late and so will Shawn. I can't ruin his first day of the last year of high school.

"What were you even doing there? I checked every gas station that you've been known to hit up and here you are in front of a daycare."

"I know how you like kids, Annie. I was gonna wait overnight until it opened up so I could get you a job. You should be thanking me," he slurred.

I sighed, loosening my shoulders and trying to relax. He called me Annie again. I was hoping that this was just a lapse that he'd passed but it looks like his habits are getting bad again. I'll have to take more precautions with him now.

Before I can correct his statement I hear his snores from the passenger's seat. With a sigh I say something under my breath.

"I'm not Mom, Rick."

***

The drive home felt shorter than usual since I had been stuck in my thoughts for so long. Pulling into the narrow driveway I nudged my father just enough for him to see we were home. Still recovering from being completely drunk only a little while from then his movements were slow when he stretched his body and wiped the drool from his mouth.

He must've been sobering up since I could see him take in his surroundings and take a deep breath wiping his face with his hands too. I looked away not wanting to have a conversation about what happened and only wanting to continue the morning as if it didn't even happen.

But my father being my father wiped away any feeling that he may have accidentally displayed and gone back to before.

"Well then, looks like I had one heck of a night out there huh?" He joked about his appearance.

I didn't bother responding to him since I knew I'd only be entertaining him and his jokes and quite frankly I'm not in the mood to laugh. I decided I'd text Shawn instead.

Skylar: I'm outside in the driveway and I've got Rick. He should be going inside any minute now and schools starting soon don't wanna be late.

"Oh I get it we're gonna play the ignoring game. I don't understand how you could be so uptight all the time. Lighten up won't ya?" Seems like he's still stuck on this idea that what he did was funny.

I'm not against anyone having a good night out but it's exhausting and embarrassing having to get calls from gas stations and clubs and bars that your father's blackout drunk and either causing a scene or sleeping somewhere random and refuses to leave.

"Today's Shawn's first day back to school and it's his senior year. Instead of being up early to make him breakfast and enjoy this day for him, I get a call from the daycare saying you're outside drunk and asleep."

His face remained unbothered and he looked so nonchalant. He only moved once her noticed Shawn walking towards the truck. Without another word, he walked away. It was as if what I said to him wasn't a shock and to be honest, I didn't expect him to react well. Actually, I don't know what I expected.

I did my best to compose myself and push my own thoughts aside as Shawn came around to my side.

"I'm assuming since you're in the driver's seat without a license and I just walked past Dad and he reeked of some kind of alcohol that this morning was eventful," Shawn snarked.

"Funny. I'm hoping you're still this cheerful trying to readjust your seat," I say, bumping my backpack into his shoulder as I make my way back to the passenger side.

"If it weren't for the fact that I had a box of Captain Crunch, a gallon of milk, and a spoon on my dresser this morning I'd say you didn't care about me."

It's true. This morning I felt bad about not having a nice breakfast made for today so I had to wing it. It's a good thing I hit up the grocery store a couple of days ago or else he would've had a nice glass of water and a side of some ice.

"Although now that I think about it you didn't leave me a bowl," he complained.

"Well, that's because yesterday, when you got home from God, knows where you forgot to wash the dishes. Not my problem."

"They posted the highlights of all of last year's games. If I wanna be prepared for this season I've gotta stay prepared. Speaking of highlights, I'm guessing this morning was a top ten Dad and Daughter moment. Did you find him at another gas station?" Shawn interrogated.

I sat back in my seat staring out the window before answering, "A daycare actually. When I tried to ask what got him here he called me Annie."

Although I didn't turn completely towards Shawn I could from the corner of my eye that his body stiffened and Shawn's eyes were on me briefly.

"I thought he was over that. I haven't seen him like that since my junior year."

"Yeah, I know. Her birthday is coming up though so maybe it's getting to him," I suggest.

After some silence, Shawn speaks up again.

"So what are we gonna do?"

"I don't know, yet. You have the rest of your senior year to get through and with football season coming up you've gotta focus on yourself, okay? But I will get this under control soon."