Secrets

Had he really imagined it?

Seonghwa cried out as his balance failed him. Hongjoong reacted quickly and tried to catch him but he was falling fast and Hongjoong was only yanked along with him. The two collided on the hotel bed with a creak.

Seonghwa's breath returned to him and trailed along Hongjoong's cheek as soon as it escaped. They were inches apart. He could feel Hongjoong's hands still braced under his back. His hips, less than a foot above his own...

He gulped and looked up, meeting Hongjoong's eyes. They were looking right at him. They didn't look shy. They looked hungry.

Hongjoong's head turned slightly, as if taking in the view below him from a better vantage point. Seonghwa felt his heart pounding.

Just as Seonghwa thought Hongjoong might close the distance between them, the pressure below his spine was relieved as Hongjoong rolled off to the side with a sigh.

"That was awkward," he laughed.

Seonghwa was confused. Had he imagined the flare of emotion in Hongjoong's eyes? Was it really there? Perhaps he had been looking for it, hoping for it. He'd wanted Hongjoong to look at him like that so badly that he'd convinced himself that he truly did.

He realized he'd been silent for too long and let out a laugh in return.

"Thanks."

Hongjoong turned and Seonghwa felt his breath against the side of his cheek.

"For what?"

"For catching me."

"I definitely didn't catch you. If anything, you caught me. So—thank you."

Seonghwa chuckled and decided to sit up. Hongjoong followed suit. They sat in silence, Seonghwa's knee bouncing anxiously.

"Stop that."

He felt a hand on his thigh as Hongjoong waved a finger at his knee, commanding it to cease its movement.

Seonghwa smiled at the cuteness. His knee stopped.

Hongjoong smiled up at him and quickly brought his hands back to his lap, swinging his legs back and forth.

Seonghwa knew he should say something. But his mind was stuck on the look on Hongjoong's face just moments ago. The desire. The raw emotion.

And how quickly it had turned off.

Had he really imagined it?

Hongjoong suddenly stood and walked over to his suitcase. Seonghwa watched, unsure of what to say.

"I think I'm going to head down to the lobby to get some work done. I just—like to work alone when I'm stressed."

His face was bright as his smile stretched from ear to ear and his eyes were soft, but Seonghwa felt like he was trying to run away.

From him.

"At this hour? I think we've already done all the preparations we need to do for tomorrow—"

"I just remembered something that I wanted to incorporate in my presentation. It won't take long but I want to write it down so I don't forget."

"Oh—um, are you sure? I'm very quiet, I'll just be over in the corner. You don't have to go so far—"

"It's okay, we're only on the third floor. It'll be like a five minute walk. Just don't forget, you promised me a donut!" Hongjoong grabbed his computer bag and wallet and left before Seonghwa could try to stop him.

As the door shut, Seonghwa was left alone with his thoughts.

Of Hongjoong.

Why was he denying his feelings?

Also since when had Seonghwa actualized his own? This trip was messing with his head. Before Hongjoong had only ever been his best friend but lately—he was realizing he wanted him to be more than that.

But when Hongjoong was over him, holding him, looking at him like that—it felt right.

He wanted it. He wanted Hongjoong in a way he didn't know he was capable of wanting someone.

It wasn't clear before but now that their days together were numbered, Seonghwa realized how much he didn't want them to end.

If he was going to use this time well, he'd have to tell Hongjoong how he felt. Maybe he would reject him. But at least he would know.

He couldn't help but feel like Hongjoong felt the same.

He just kept trying to hide it.

Why?