Cognitive Dissonance

Chapter 1-Intro

If I could sum up my personality in two words, it would be cognitive dissonance. My mind always thinks one thing, but my body does another, and for the past 17 years of my life, I still haven't been able to align the two. As a result, my werewolf and I always seem to battle. My aggressive and impulsive nature constantly clashes with his gentler and rational one.

It's not from a lack of trying either. Yet, somehow my anger issues prevail, and my emotions overtake my body and suppress my mind. That's why I don't want a mate. Being damaged and broken, I can't control myself.

I know that my mate will only get hurt if I go through an episode, and that is only given if they will have me as their mate. One common misconception about werewolves is that if they don't accept their mates, both mates die. This can not be farther from the truth.

The moon goddess is not so cruel that she would force our mates to accept us under self-preservation. Sure, both wolves get sad and dejected for a while, but it is possible to overcome this state. Plus, the one who gets rejected can find a second chance mate.

I don't think my wolf Issac, and I could handle rejection, and we didn't want to ever hurt our mate. Every time we come out of an episode, we are plagued by guilt. Seeing the broken vases, picture frames, and the terrified look in my family's eyes only further distances me from my loved ones.

That's why I have an obruo bracelet. I got it a week ago since my 18th birthday is coming up next month. It looks like a simple twisted rope-like black leather bracelet with a steel clasp to an outsider. But what makes it unique is not the bracelet but rather the spell on it, preventing my mate and I from identifying each other.

It had taken me over a year to find something that could prevent the mate bond from forming. Then, somehow, I got lucky one day when I stumbled upon the information for a warlock who would enchant my bracelet given the right price.

However, the bracelet comes with a curse, and the longer the user wears it, the more weak their wolf becomes. At least, that's what the warlock told me. I didn't ask many questions because the warlock honestly creeped me out. Anyone that dabbles is dark magic gives off extremely bad energy since it taints the soul.

In prevention, I decided to only wear the bracelet once I identified if my mate was in our pack. That way, I would know when it was essential to wear the bracelet. While I can be unnecessarily aggressive towards my wolf, I don't want to hurt him unnecessarily.

I'm hoping my mate isn't in the pack, but I have the bracelet on standby if they are. Thankfully the mate connection can't be felt until both individuals are eighteen. So, thankfully I don't have to worry about them being older than me and sensing me first.

Even with all the rage and anger, I keep bottled up inside, I still manage to be one of the more popular kids at Lakewood High. Since I am the future Beta of the pack, I have a naturally muscular build, brown hair, and dark blue eyes to compliment my olive complexion.

Besides my family, no one knows about my anger issues. Everyone in the pack just thinks I'm a jerk, and I would like to keep it that way. Then, suddenly, a rapid pounding on my door breaks me out of my thoughts.

"Bryce, get your lazy pathetic ass up! We have to go to school!" Lily, my twin sister, screeched with an annoyingly high pitch from outside my room. I groan and reluctantly get up when I see the time. School starts in 10 minutes, and it is at least an 8-minute drive away.

I don't freak out when I see the time because I am used to being late. It was almost expected of me. I probably wouldn't even show up at school if it wasn't for my little sister. Even though Lily and I are twins, I still call her my little sister since she is 5 minutes younger than me.