𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘶𝘵! | 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘮

𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴: 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘦

^^ Look at just one example of your talent, Vee. "The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone." -Harriet Beecher Stowe ... I'm going to try to get some of the words out now 

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Those glistening bodies of water you so loved. "I would dive in and never come out", you said. You kept true to your word but I must stay and keep your towel dry, your mark on the world living. Safe. Warm. Like the feelings you'd give me with a simple message, even just an exchange of our favorite nicknames. Always checking up on me to make sure I was paying attention in class, chastising me when I'd cling to you instead of answering math problems. You never were threatening when scolding, pips. And when we both wrote each other poems, we gleefully pointed out how both ours had "glistening" in them. Our "galaxy brains", connected and never apart. You said, "Ellie is a mask, u shals be shrouded in mysteryyy." If only I had revealed myself to you sooner. Never before had someone written a poem for me, yet you casually insisted that "when u friends with me u gonna get shit like this." And I know what a gem you were, a special beam of light no one could outshine. You stood on your own with your "jazzed" up guitar and your melodic, honey-smooth voice. "Lemme serenade u", and you surely did. Your little giggles and "fuck"s when you'd mess up and the way you'd so casually blow me away with those runs. I can't listen to those audios without sobbing and wishing to hear your voice again. I loved it so much and wish you could have broadcasted your talent to the world. For the talent you held was unmatchable and everyone would adore the very lyrics you called your own. "It is about someone who got drunk, drugged, and abducted at a party. Very fun." My chest constricts thinking I'll never get to praise you about that song of yours again. I can't believe you called yourself just "decent." "The Vee Pips fanbase is gonna be INSANE" I pledged, nothing compared to the El Bubs one. Because you were a star burning the night sky without even meaning to. When you heard me, you said "if you and I were in a meadow and you were singing, I'd be so enchanted and lulled to some dreamscape land" and "omg it'd be fun to jam with you in the bathroom, Taylor playing, dancing in pjs." Why can't we do that? Why can't I just hold you? Yet, I know with every meadow, with every song that reminds me of you, I'll feel you here with me. You are here with me, always. A literal angel, my pips. My infj-t sister. Bringing you close to Nico is something I can actually be proud of. I love that you had each other. "10/10 would befriend" you asserted faithfully and soon enough, you warmed another with your light. We'll always be "2 infjs and 1 wild infp." And those scrabbles letters you arranged to spell "I lof u", I hope you know my love for you surpasses any distance between us, any moment in time that I can't whisper back with a plea. I don't know what I expected, a sudden arrival of your presence when I called to you? A laugh from a friend pulling a hideous prank? Anything would be better than this reality. Reading these messages of you talking about the future has me crying. This all feels unreal. I hate that my last private message to you when you were here was "ooooo I didn't know that." I should have talked to you more in your last month with me. I should have plucked up the courage, not have selfishly thought I was being a bother. I should have done so many things. There are so many things I wish we could have done together. But I know you are happy and in peace right now. It'll take time and I'll be strong for you. But keep in mind that our love for you is never gone and that you'll always have a place in me. I love you forever, my pips. -ellie/bubs <33

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I love you all and please don't ever forget that you have people who love you so very much and who are here for you xx