Marina stories / One shots (ENG)

Clouds

⚠️ Warning chapter including sexual content, I am in control of what I publish, not of what you read ⚠️

After Rigo's death, Diane Lewis, a post-trauma therapist, was called at the station to talk to the team.
Once finished with them, Diane comes to see Maya. She asked how her team was doing with Rigo's death. But Diane hadn't come to the Captain's office to report but to see how Maya was handling this event.

** Maya POV **

- How do you handle it, yourself? - She asks
- If I hadn't put Jack and Rigo together, they wouldn't have argued
- Ok, I don't have the right to divulge what your team told me, but I assure you that no one had the speech you just told me - she assures me
- Mh ... does that make me naïve ? To have thought that they would leave their difference aside? - I start to get angry on my own, I add - a man is dead and I only think about myself - I said coming back to my office - Still looking forward
- Mh? - She raises an eyebrow
- I was taught this rule: "Look forward to the finish line" - She nods and frowns - Sometimes I'm thinking about dying
- Since Rigo died? - She advances towards me
- No, since I was 12. It soothes me when I can't sleep. When I'm stressed, I think about death and I fall asleep. Looking forward is exhausting .. I'm exhausted - I said looking her in the eyes
- Is it a suicidal urge?  Do you envision the worst?  She asks seriously
- No, it's .. - I'm trying to find my words - it's a loophole for me. When I was little, I used to take the plane for my competitions. I looked at the clouds and it reminded me of a bed. They looked so soft. Nothing could happen to me in these clouds. I could have slept late, rested .. - I catch my breath - love, if I had jumped into those clouds. - I support her gaze - I think .. currently I'm a little jealous of Rigo
- Who taught you this rule?
- My father
- And did you consider that he could be wrong? - I look at her in silence, I don't know what to answer her - Maya, do you think, after all that you have accomplished, that you could learn to rest, to sleep and to love this life, your life? Instead of waiting for death to set you free?

After these words, I remain silent, I look away. I don't know, I don't know if I can do it.

- I ... I can try - I say without really being sure
- Well, in that case, I'll go, if you need me, don't hesitate, okay?
- Yes thank you Diane - I said closing the door

There are things that we think about, that we keep deep inside us, not because it's shameful, but because saying them out loud makes things even more real.

// Ellipse after the shift of Maya 3pm //

I called Carina, I asked her if she could come by. She agreed and arrived half an hour later.

- Ciao Bella! Come stai? - she asks me, kissing me
- Hey I'm doing okay. Do you know what I want? There, now, immediately ? I said before kissing her
- Mh ... I have a little idea - she answers smiling against my lips - Tell me .. or show me ..

I take her by the hand and lead her to the bedroom.

** Carina POV **

Wow .. seeing Maya is still great. I'm never tired of her body, of touching or kissing her.
I slowly catch my breath when I see Maya sit down and bring her knees to her chest. I do not immediately understand what is happening, the transition from one emotion to another in such a short time.
I approach her slowly, she's back to me

- Maya? .. Maya, what's going on? - She remains silent

I see that she is having trouble breathing, that she is sobbing. I take her in my arms, I hug her against me. Maya and I are not in a relationship, nothing is defined and nothing has been said between the two of us, but that does not prevent me from comforting her.