Red Room Assassin || Bucky Barnes (discontinued)

9. The truth 🩸

3 days.

3 days since I last talked to Natasha.

3 days since I have looked in her broken with disbelief filled eyes.

3 days since I saw her sitting in my room.

3 days since I told the red-head that the Red Room is still working with Hydra.

3 days since her whole world broke down.

3 days and no one had heard anything from Natasha Romanoff.

It was quite. Only my heavy breath was audible. I'm looking around but see nothing. The sweat on my forehead almost dripping. My knuckles growing white from my grip on the gun. I turn around and shot.

The illusion disappeared just like the other ones before.

Since 3 days I do nothing but training. I haven't heard anything from Natasha since I told her about the Red Room. I barely talk to someone or eat. And my sleep is rare too. The Avengers are analyzing the informations we got in Russia, but they didn't found anything yet. Everyone is worried about Nat but I know that she is fine. Well as fine as she can be. She needs time for herself and I totally unterstand that. But it doesn't seem like the Avengers do. They are looking nonstop for her. Not that they would find anything as long as Nat doesn't want them to. They think they can fix everything just cause they are the Avengers. But not Captain America not Iron Man or Hawkeye can fix those problems that comes with it. No one can fix the deep cuts the Red Room gave us. No one can fix that burden which Nat and I need to carry. The burden of being always a part of the assassin Academy if we want to or not.

I was done with my training today so I went to my room and took a long shower. Sometimes I wish I just could wash everything bad from the Red Room away. Every torture, mission, training and kill. Everything I did while the Madame controlled and manipulated me. They told us that we would do the right thing for the world. That it need to be done by someone.

I step out of the cold shower and put on my black leather suit.

I make my way to Fury. I need a mission. When I stepped in the office I see Fury and... Steve and Tony? Maybe they finally found something. Everyone's eyes laid on me. „Hello heroes." I said with a mocking voice and a little grin on my face. „Finally found something?" Everyone shook their heads. I rolled my eyes. „Then I have no idea what you are doing here. You should work on those informations." My voice annoyed and slightly pissed.

I'm growing impatient and I have every reason to do so. Nat and I are probably on top of the Red Room death-list. The Avengers not coming foreword is nerve racking. Sometimes I could explode. I could do it on my own but I didn't brought it over me to look at all of it again- scared I'm getting more paranoid than I already am. Jesus I flipped someone over in the supermarket because I thought he was following me. I got thrown out by the way.

Steve stepped foreword and said „We need your help." I raised my eyebrows. „You need my help again? Can you Avengers not do anything by yourself." Why are they Avengers again?

Steve choose to just ignore it. „None of us can contact Nat. We can't find her." He said concerned. I answered „I know thats the whole point. Nat doesn't want to be found and you can't until she wants you to."

„No one but you."

„Thats right Steve, no one but me. I think like her. I act like her. Nothing easier than that." I said calm while I lean against the wall.

„Then please find her-"

„No" I answered without hesitation. I'm not gonna look for her. She comes out of the shadows when she is ready. I accept that.