Yellow

Make It Painless

What the fuck happened here?

It started with a devilish text;
And collapsed into a handsome stroll down Hudson Avenue.
You seemed nervously calm, like euphoria had set in after one too many pills,
And I was encapsulated, glued together by you.
It continued into muscles flexed;
And came to a climax to the sounds of Joni's Blue.
I was elegant and grand, a picture perfect sculpture overlooking the Tuscan hills.
And you were Icarus reincarnated, only, the roles were reversed,
And fate laughed at me instead of you.

I begged, I cried, I screamed,
I don't fucking deserve to forget you.
But, behind closed doors, I guess things are never as they seem;
And your loveless eyes were my cue.
To go so swiftly is a casualty for love;
The brutality of poisoned prose.
Like an ominous sign from above;
I was the last to know.
But I tried so passionately to divorce the rumors;
To reject the medieval gossip we had been subject to.
But word spreads faster than malignant tumours;
And I had to come face-to-face with the true you.

You're still stop-dead-in-your-tracks beautiful;
I'd do a double take if I didn't know.
A maturity sits in your words but you are entirely juvenile.
What a difficult, destructive conundrum.
The sun cannot survive without the moon,
Unless it's not as dumb as we may think it to be.
An Emmy-winner or a cartoon?
Madness knows no boundaries.
You'd know that, wouldn't you?
I hate you, I miss you.
But I can't look at you.

You weasel your way into my words;
A disgrace to the ink that follows.
You shot me like you would a bird in open season;
And it hurt more than I ever thought it could.
Speak in riddles, speak in rhymes, this hurts.
I hear an echo in your apology, it's hollow.
Agony destroys you for a specific reason.
I was a Shakespearean script thrown in the shredder;
A Picasso painting let loose in the Mediterranean.
The worst kind of movie spoiler;
The cancellation of your favorite TV show.
I am hanging by the thinnest tether.
I hope you don't obliterate me ever again;
But if you don't hurt me you'll hurt another.
Such a tragic way to go.

Endless nothingness scored with a heavy chest.
Can we knock the pieces off this chessboard?
A blank canvas, perfectly poised for a masterpiece.
Play it coy until it's my turn to text;
Until I feel ready to take you home.
Until I feel ready to let you love me.
You don't deserve redemption;
But I don't deserve you.

Promise me, you'll bury me.
Promise me, this time, our love is one for the ages,
Promise me, if you repeat history, make it painless.