Yours Truly

15: Trust

Tristan:

It was beyond difficult for me to forget our dance last night. I just couldn't stop thinking about it. Every chance I got, that's what I replayed in my head.

What was I even thinking?

I had pulled her so close to myself, and to be honest, I wanted to pull her even closer. Close enough for her to feel my heartbeats every time she looked up from her feet and gazed into my eyes.

Those hazel eyes are an absolute crime to society.

I was too upfront with her yesterday. Everything that I did, every spin, every motion forward, every step, I was on the verge of losing control. In those few minutes, I had forgotten reality as a whole. I had forgotten the reality that existed between us, that she wasn't mine and I was never going to have the privilege to be hers. But in those few minutes, I danced my heart out with her. I kept her so close to myself that she would never be able to slip away from me again.

I wished I could keep it that way forever, to be trapped in that four-minute eternity with her.

"Why do you even bother with her man?" Caleb's voice vibrated through the phone's speaker, as I laid flat on my bed, staring at the ceiling drowning in my own thoughts. "You know, from the day she's walked into your life, you've been this lovestruck idiot that doesn't pick up on how much of a jerk she is. She's practically turned your head upside down, it's not healthy. And now you're telling me, even after all these years, she's still worth fighting for?"

Caleb Grey, my best friend, and an unnecessarily good advice-giver. Yet even with all that, my brain urges me to do the complete opposite of what he instructs. Especially when it comes to Maia.

He's right, it's not healthy at all.

"Cal, you don't even know half of it." I said in response, feeling a bit annoyed. "Don't say that about her." To be honest, I didn't even know a quarter of whatever it was. Something was up with Maia and I'd noticed it when we were kids, how she'd changed so drastically from the person that had stars in her eyes I'd met six years ago in that store. Anyone would notice it, even if the encounter was as brief as ours was. I noticed it the minute I saw her when I came back from England. As much as I thought I could make her smile—even if I'd gotten very close and done it on several occasions—she'd never revert back to who she was. One small smile is all I got, and to be honest, I was quite happy with it.

Actually, half the days she'd ignore me. But the other half was when she gave me that little smile—either at my constant stupidness and how bothersome I was or that my attempt of searching for her smile succeeded—which truly made my entire week.

But now, the way she spoke about life, as if it was a chore to get rid of, I could see the effect of whatever happened to her. She's existing, that's all. Not living.

Something broke her.

"I know more of it than you and Maia, combined." He answered. "Just think about it. I only want the best for you, and if you're still chasing after Maia after all these years, at least do it a little better. You sucked last time, you let her walk away." Caleb laughed as my lips curled into a smile. He's right, I was pathetic. Still am.

I rolled my eyes, deciding to tease him for a change, "So how's it going with Lina by the way?" I asked, almost laughing, before I could even phrase the question properly.

Caleb muttered a curse towards me and then just hung up. Ah, a taste of your own medicine hurts, doesn't it Cal? Caleb and Lina were a very dysfunctional couple, breaking up one minute, getting back the next, it was hard to keep track. It drove Caleb absolutely insane just thinking about her—not knowing if it was feelings of hate or liking—and obviously I had a lot to say about it just like him.