First love

I broke my own heart more than he broke mine.

I sat in silence for almost an hour. No one was looking for a bride. Where was my husband? Why didn't he check on me?
I was confused and I didn't know what to do. I saw my future with Danny and I couldn't wait to experience every moment of it, but what if everything was just my imagination or a dream. What if I was hallucinating just because I wanted it so bad, what if I wasn't ready for marriage and that's all.
I couldn't help but think about Danny. One evening we fought at our friends village house. We almost broke up and slept in different bedrooms. Next morning Larry and I were sitting on the balcony and we were drinking coffee. I heard Danny's footsteps, I stood up and went into my room so I wouldn't see him, even though he was the one who was mad at me. In 10 minutes Larry came into my room and told me to talk to Danny, but I refused as I knew we would fight again. He wasn't going to apologize neither was I so what was the point, so we stayed mad at each other. The next day, I woke up and went to the kitchen, before I walked inside the room, I heard Danny's voice so I stopped I wanted to hear the dialogue.

Mutual friend: No one wants to go to the pool, we're in the village not at the hotel.
Danny: Yes I know, but Norry loves to tan.
Mutual friend: So you're forcing everyone to go to the pool just so Norry can tan?
Danny: Yes, we can't go alone, we're still in a fight.
Mutual friend: If you forgot let me remind you, you're the one who is mad not Norry.
Danny: It doesn't matter.
I went back into my room and called Danny. As if I didn't hear anything.
Me: I'm really sorry for my behavior. I shouldn't have said the things I told you.
Danny: No, I'm the one who owes you an apology. I should have talked to you we didn't need to fight and scream at each others' faces.
Me: If it's possible can we go alone to the pool?
That's why I loved Danny, that's why he was never replaced in my heart. He knew every detail about me, because he always listened carefully. I don't even know if Jack knows my favorite color or my first fictional crush and maybe it's not a big deal. But Danny knows everything about me and my personality. He knows that I never cry in public because it makes me feel humiliated. He knows that I hate seeing people's toes. He knows I have a running nose all the time and I always have napkins in my handbag. He knows that I'm unbelievably afraid of damaging my nose shape. He knows that I feel guilty after eating too much so he never forced me to eat something or not to eat something.
Our love was so strong that we could feel it from the distance. Only one eye contact was enough to remember we loved each other.
I remember the time in school, when our maths teacher was angry with our class and demanded to see everyone's homework. Danny was one F away from failing all the classes. I was a bright student and always had my homework. So even though we were fighting and weren't together for this exact moment, when I heard he hadn't a homework I changed his book with mine. I got my first F, but I wasn't sad or angry. I was happy I saved him. After lesson he went to tell the teacher the truth but I stopped him and told him it was okay and I wanted it that way. This F wasn't a tragedy for me. I would still get an A in the end, but for him it meant a lot. That's how we loved each other from distance.
I hated myself for thinking like that but I wanted to run and spend the rest of my life with Danny. If there was a slightest chance that the future I saw was real I wanted to live it. There must have been an explanation why he left me and after that I would get my happily ever after.
I took off my wedding dress. Put on a sweatpants and a T-shirt and ran away through the back door. I was running but I had no plan, I didn't even know if Danny was in town or not. I caught a taxi and called Danny again.
Me: Where are you? I want to see you.
Danny: What? Are you crazy? It's your wedding day. You can't see me.
Me: Just send me your address.
Danny: No! I don't want to see you. I just wanted you to know I was happy for you. I don't love you anymore. Stay wherever you are and get married.
Me: No it doesn't matter. I have to see you right now.
Danny: sent an address.

I walked into a big country house far away from the city. An old lady let me inside. It was a modern luxury house. Danny was financially alright, but he was never a millionaire and this house looked like it had a millionaire owner. I thought he had worked really hard and it was just great. Turned out an old lady was a housekeeper. She told me to sit down and wait for Danny. I sat down in the biggest living room I've ever been in.
He walked in he was wearing a black sweatpants and a hoodie, the strangest thing was a full face mask on his head. I remembered, his new burned face. It was fine by me.
When I was younger I read somewhere that one of the greatest ways to find out if you love someone or not is to imagine them with an ugly face. I didn't have a answer until that day. It didn't matter, whatever was under this mask.
I ran and hugged him, but he didn't hug me back.

Danny: What are you doing? Don't you remember I left you 2 weeks before our wedding? Are you this dumb? Why are you ruining your happiness for someone who doesn't care about you no more.
Me: Stop hurting me like that. Take off the mask, I don't care what your face looks like. I know you still love me. I'm still yours and you're still mine.
Danny: No I'm not yours. You are so stupid, I have a wife and children maybe one day I'll introduce you them. I don't care about your feelings. Leave me alone you crazy woman. I just called Larry to tell him I was happy, you imagined other things by yourself. I'm not the same person you loved. I left you because I met someone in the college and realized I never loved you. I experienced what a real love was and I married her. Now if you excuse me I have to work on something.
I didn't say a word. I felt humiliated. I ran away and didn't look back. I was just a stupid girl. This imaginary future never existed and now I ruined my real future too. And all just because I still wanted Danny to be the one for me, but he didn't care about me or my feelings. He was happy with his life unlike me.
I spent whole 5 years thinking he had a serious reason for leaving me, I was thinking we still loved each other from distance as always, I buried him in my heart forever and even on my wedding day, only man I could think about was Danny. How could I be so stupid and blind. There was never a future for us, it was my imagination, I was so in love with him that I spent my whole wedding day hallucinating about the man he would never be and the life we could never have together.